Sandy Rios

By D'Anne Witkowski

Creep of the Week

If there's one thing kids in America hear too often it's how totally cool and fantastic homosexuality is. Once upon a time there was a lot of anti-gay hate in schools: kids would call other kids "fag" and teachers would just look the other way, same-sex couples weren't allowed to attend prom together, students would have to fight an uphill battle to get a Gay Straight Alliance in their high school, anti-discrimination policies didn't cover sexual orientation.

Thankfully that's all in the past and homosexuality is presented to kids as the new normal. Straight kids have been forced into the closet where they belong.

This is apparently the alternate universe the American Family Association's Sandy Rios spends most of her time. Where homosexuals have all the power and the heteros have none. Where all the cool kids are trying out gay sex positions with their friends while straight kids are doing something boring like reading the Bible.

And this is why, Rios argues, so many young people are okay with marriage for same-sex couples. Because they've been desensitized to it's scary dangers.

"We hear so much first of all about young people being in favor of gay marriage and ... I believe those stats are probably for the most part true and I believe it makes sense because our children, for the most part, have heard nothing but positive things about homosexuality and its effects; it's kind of fun."

You hear that? Homosexuality is the funniest! And kids just love to have a gay old time. Never mind that by some estimates kids hear anti-gay slurs at school about 25 times a day. Not to worry, I'm sure they're hearing pro-gay slurs way more often. In fact, when you read about the alarmingly high rate of LGBT kids who attempt suicide the most common reason given is that the kid was just tired of hearing how awesome he was because he was gay. It's a burden.

Rios has a novel target of blame for all of the pro-homosexuality shenanigans of late: Say Yes to the Dress, a show that Rios confesses she loves.

"We see 'Say Yes to the Dress,' which by the way I love, and we see the gay characters on that," she muses. "[I]t is the face of the homosexual community that is only painted with a positive brush."

Now I have not seen Say Yes to the Dress, but from what I can tell it has to do with marriage, specifically the shopping side of marriage, and what could be gayer considering how gays have basically taken over marriage these days? It only makes sense that Bravo would devote an entire reality TV series about gay men and fag hags and wedding dresses. Amirite?

Rios does worry, however, that Say Yes to the Dress shields viewers from the "very dark side" that is "not a good thing for people ultimately in their lives and ... a destructive force." Surprisingly she is not talking about the ego-maniacal brides featured on the show. She's just bitching that the show doesn't make gay people look terrible enough.

"My concern," she laments, "is for the raping of the innocence of our children."

Yes, you heard that right. If children today are not likely to grow up to be as bigoted as Rios, then it's obviously because gays keep raping their innocence.

Rios claims that homosexuals are "forcing" their issues "in public schools, forcing little children to be educated, they call it educated, I'd say sexually abused by information their little ears are not ready to hear."

Hmm... If it's sexual abuse to tell a kid that gays aren't uniformly disgusting and going to hell, then I wonder what Rios would consider the largely hostile school environment so many gay kids are subjected to. I suspect she would call that "fair and balanced."


  • Latest News

Enter To Win

Enter contests to win great prizes like CDs, DVDs, concert tickets and more

Special Section: Automotive
Former Chrysler Executive Talks Workplace Inclusivity

As an openly gay man, Fred Hoffman said, "I really didn't know if there would be an issue." And while he wasn't waving rainbow flags when he was recruited by Chrysler in 1988, he was told being gay wasn't a problem.

View More Automotive
This Week's Issue

Download or view this week's print issue today!