BY T. THOMAS ABERNATHY
Scott Stabile is an up and coming author based in Michigan where he lives with his partner. A passionate speaker and love advocate, Scott runs daylong empowerment workshops nationally and internationally. BTL recently spoke to him about his new book, titled “Big Love: The Power of Living With a Wide-Open Heart.” Stabile answered some questions about the book, his experiences writing it, and some of his hopes for the future.
If you had to give me a short elevator pitch for “Big Love,” what would it be?
I would say that “Big Love” is a collection of personal essays. Each one is about a moment in my life where I’ve been pulled from my center, and the tools that I’ve used to find my way back.
Let’s build on that a little. What made you decide to put this book together, and get it out there for people to read?
I’ve had a Facebook page for over five years now, and I’ve done a lot of writing on that. I tend to write about a lot of the subjects in the book, and share that with a community that’s been continually growing. I write about ideas like compassion, kindness, moving through our fears, and being honest with our pain. Writing and posting on Facebook has been wonderful, but it also has limitations. Even when I write longer posts, they’re still not as deep as you can go when you’re creating a chapter in a book. So, I actually began taking some of these ideas that I wrote about on Facebook and really went deeper into the ideas behind them. I know that not everyone is on Facebook, and not everyone is on social media. I realized that if I wanted this message to reach more people, a book is a natural way to do it.
I know that, towards the beginning of the book, there’s a lot of darkness there, especially when you’re talking about your family. You’ve already told me a little bit about dealing with some of these issues, but did you run into any major challenges when getting this onto the page?
You know, it’s funny. I think the greatest challenge happened after the words were on the page. In the weeks before the book was coming out, I was like, ‘Oh man. I just shared a lot of myself, and now everyone’s going to know everything!’ So I think the panic about that set in in the weeks before release. As far as the heavier chapters go, when you’re writing about these heavy experiences in your life, it’s hard not to be taken back to them and feel what you were feeling. So a lot of the chapters were very emotional to write, but also really cathartic. Putting emotions onto the page is such a helpful release of energy. It was cathartic and powerful and nerve-wracking, especially when I knew it was coming out, but it was good.
Looking back on the book, now that it’s out, are there any messages that you’d like to share with our LGBTQ readers, especially ones who are struggling?
The truth is, I think the messages would apply to those who aren’t LGBTQ as well, but it certainly applies to those who are. You know, you don’t have to have my exact circumstances in your life to know that we can connect with each other. Because we all know pain, we all know sadness, we all know sorrow. By sharing my experience with these emotions and with these circumstances, my hope is that others will feel less alone in their story, and in their struggle, and in their shame, and whatever else they’re going through. I want people to understand that they are worthy, and they are beautiful, and they don’t have to do a single thing differently to be any more worthy than they already are. The other big message with the book for me is to really invite people to consider choosing love as a guiding force in their life as often as possible, and see what difference that makes in their life. We need to ask ourselves, ‘What does love invite me to do?’ I think that’s the main message: considering love as your guiding force, and seeing how it changes your life.
If people want to follow your work and support the book, what are some resources for them to do that?
Well, the book is available everywhere. It’s available as an e-book, a hardcover in bookstores, there’s even an audiobook with me reading it.
Yeah! I had to audition to read it actually, which was really funny. The producer sent me an email and said, ‘We hear you’re interested in reading your book and we invite you to send in a five minute recording.’ I’m glad they chose me, because I was really hoping to get to read the book, and I’m really proud of the way it turned out.
To connect with Scott, or learn more about “Big Love,” visit his website, http://www.scottstabile.com, or follow his postings and share in his experiences on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ScottFrankStabile.