Everything looks to be active again.

… down the merry path back to active. We’re projecting the site being back mid-day. Thank you so, so much for your patience.

We seem to be having some technical difficulties; I’m working with our hosting service to get to the root of the problem.

Hang on, we’ll be back soon!

Very funny.

(via Pharyngula, Pam’s House Blend, and various others)

It’s time for that totally-’80s get-up to come out of the closet! Cyndi Lauper and Co. (including co-headliner the B-52s!) will bring the re-launched True Colors Tour, which will raise voting awareness and funds for LGBT advocacy groups, to Michigan on June 11 at DTE Energy. Rosie O’ Donnell, the Indigo Girls (how lesbian of them!), Regina Spektor and Joan Jett are all part of the line-up, with some stops including spots from Tegan & Sara, Wanda Sykes (I always knew!) and The Cliks. Fab Fiver Carson Kressley will host what will absolutely be one of the gayest concerts since Cher’s first, second and third Detroit farewell shows. Everyone woo-hoo with me! And then go throw on some funky ’80s dress, dye your hair red and dance around to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” – ’cause, come summer, we will be! 

Madonna’s saving the world in four minutes with her new Justin Timberlake-paired single – and, in even less time, saving gay fans from a two-and-a-half-year no-Madge drought. Thanks be to the Gay God for delivering new Janet and Mary J. albums, and a tongue-in-cheek dirty cut from Mariah, in the meantime. “4 Minutes to Save the World,” the (leaked) bouncy first single from Madonna’s 11th studio album, “Hard Candy” (the follow-up to 2005’s “Confessions on a Dance Floor”), is a colorful, psychedelic romp featuring J.T., whom she plays sonic ping-pong with, trading verses about an impending apocalypse. Yeah – don’t be fooled by the beat, which boasts marching-band horns and cracklin’ drums, and could’ve smoothly bled into the dance grooves on Timberlake’s “FutureSex/LoveSounds.” Madonna’s final words are, simply, “tick tock tick tock tick tock” – and there’s no doubt ya’ll will be tick-tocking until you can ear-swallow “Hard Candy” on April 29 (just two weeks after the follow-up to Mimi’s mammoth comeback release – yikes!).What do you think of Madonna’s “4 Minutes to Save the World”? Will “Hard Candy” taste sweeter than Mariah’s “E=MC²? Tell us!

Any excuse Mariah can take to prance around in deep-cleavage tops and hip-hugging denim, she’ll take it. Not that I’m complaining – especially after the uber-silly-but-totally-Mimi “Touch My Body” (remember how she battled her black-haired alter-ego Bianca in “Heartbreaker”?) And her tight, never-looked-better body is pretty bangin’ (for hetero guys!) even as she pushes 40. In the Brett Ratner-directed video, a Geek Squad-like nerd (Jack McBrayer of “30 Rock”) makes a stop at Mariah’s ginormous palace, and, of course, M.C. answers the door in her black panty-bra set. He pretends to be cool, tries hitting a Mimi high-note (and comes off sounding like a strangled dog yelping for help), and lip-syncs to the song’s dirty lyrics. And then we’re supposed to think she’s gonna, as she coos, wrap her thighs around this supersize-glasses-donning dork’s waist, but by the end – well, you’ll just to watch below.

By now, you’ve probably seen I’m F*ing Matt Damon and the response video I’m F*ing Ben Affleck, but now someone’s f*ing Seth Rogen!

Video after the jump…
Read the rest of this entry »

Not including any responses that are abusive, flaming, or contain things like personal information, addresses, or phone numbers of people, should we allow anonymous responses? I’ll allow anonymous responses in this item.

Mariah’s upcoming “Emancipation of Mimi” sequel has a sorta-cryptic name: “E=MC² .” I’m still trying to figure out this equation (sure I know what it really means) – especially since MC’s thrown us a curveball, considering past titles have been simple and girly: “Butterfly,” “Rainbow” and “Charmbracelet.” The album’s due April 15, with the first single, “Touch My Body,” being sent to radio stations tonight! Woot-woot! So – dear Got Gayers – I need your help. What does this mathematical title mean to Mariah? And when did she go back to school?

P.S. Check back tonight for a complete review of MC’s “Touch My Body.”

Since discovering Missy Higgins’ “Where I Stood” nearly a week ago (apparently it’s been used on “Grey’s Anatomy”), I’ve listened to it over 150 times. I’ve also shed about 150 tears. Why? ‘Cause this piano gem from her February release “On A Clear Night” (look for a review in BTL soon) is sadder than the “Desperate Housewives” hiatus. OK, really, it’s a whole lot sadder than that in part to Missy’s defeated vocal delivery, and the uber-catchy chorus: “‘Cause she will love you more than I could, she who dares to stand where I stood.” Listen. Then tell me, do you feel my pain? Or am I the biggest baby ever? Read the rest of this entry »

My two sessions yesterday afternoon were “Religious Rights vs. LGBT Civil Rights” and “We know what we’re ‘Against’, but what are we ‘For’?” The first was a total bust. The only information the presenter had prepared were several sheets of a paperboard detailing the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Workplace Religious Freedom Act. She prefaced the whole discussion by saying “If I get too bogged down in legal words, just stop me and ask for clarification.” She wasn’t kidding. I totally recognize that the fight for equality has to be waged on several levels, including the legal arena. However, discussing the de minimis clause of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 isn’t what I thought a discussion of Religious Rights would be. Instead it was a delineation of how these two laws can be used to allow religious zealots to be free to express their rights. No actual discussion of LGBT rights was included. Total bust.

The second session, “What are we ‘For’?”, was amazing. I got to the session a bit early and immediately began judging the presenters. My first impulse was “How are two club-kids from Manhattan going to help define a progressive vision for the future? This is probably their first excursion into ‘fly-over country’ and they’re probably ready to get the hell out. Do I really have anything in common with guys like this, other than shared enemies like Pat Robertson or Rev. Sheldon?”

Then someone behind me mentioned Transgendered Midgets, and I giggled.

The two guys are from a DC-based organization called the Center for Community Change that helps out low-income grassroots organizations to further their vision. Lots of people they work with feel stuck, not sure of how to take the next step, or even what the next step should be. They started a project to help these groups define a cohesive mission. The session I attended was an extension of that previous project onto a national scale to help all of us figure out what the hell we really want.

All in all it was an amazing session. We were given ballots with a list of values on them, values like Religion, Hard Work, Profits, or Education. We were to choose our top 3 values and share that with the group. After we tallied our top values, our group came up with Community, Fairness and Equality. They said that of the 160 grass-roots groups they’ve surveyed so far, community is always one of the top vote-getters.

Then we divided into three groups, all with one umbrella issue. My group had “Family Recognition”, while the others had “Immigration” and “Alleviating Poverty”. We were to list our own perspectives or policies on these umbrella issues. Then we attached the values we assign to these policy decisions, and discussed why we thought those values didn’t apply to the other policy decisions. I know, it’s convoluted, and it was even harder in practice. Trying to argue that Equal Opportunity is an Inherent Right and not a reason for Marriage is very difficult. My group was largely young people from colleges. I was seriously inspired by their enthusiasm, especially since i’m only 10 years older than them. As a result, our discussion centered around the marriage/civil union debate. I tried to push towards other topics like Adoption, Surrogate Parenting, Equal Opportunity for Education, but these always seemed to be pushed aside for the larger idea of Inherent Rights. In the end, we didn’t decide anything. It really highlighted for me the incredibly hard task of deciding what we’re For. What am I for? What change am I trying to create?

The other groups had equal amounts of trouble. The immigration group decided that the best, most progressive vision was completely Open Borders. No nations, no walls, we’re all citizens of the world. They even listed Security as one of the values that led them to this choice. To the other groups, we obviously questioned how Open Borders would improve Security. They stated that they were mainly thinking about security on a local level, secure in their schools, secure in their homes, etc. I thought, “Yeah, locally, people in Iraq aren’t feeling very secure right now. Might want to re-think that.”

The Poverty Alleviation group had an even tougher time. Their discussion always came back to the value of Hard Work, which didn’t even make our Top 3 at the beginning of the session. They realized that even though things like Hard Work and Individual Responsibility are the defining values of alleviating poverty, the main solutions they would come up with centered around Collective Responsibility, a much more Socialist construct. I think embracing Socialist ideas is becoming more popular amongst activists, since the stigma of a Red Soviet Amerika isn’t quite a danger anymore.

They left us with two questions to ask ourselves.
1) Is it easy to think about values?

2) How easy is it to fall into other people’s frames of reference?

It wasn’t easy to think about values, and even harder to try to prioritize them. And it was very easy to fall into other people’s frames of reference. We were constantly refusing certain policy ideas or goals because of their taboo nature, or because they didn’t fit with current cultural “norms”. Not a good way to define a vision.

Just got out of the plenary with the Episcopal bishop Gene Robinson, and while I’m not sure he fired up the crowd nearly as much as Julian Bond or Matt Foreman (who showed up to the BTL Media reception last night!! To say that we’re his favorite gay paper!! And that he *cough*throwsanothergaypaperawaywhenitshowsuptotheoffice*cough*!!) but he definitely made an impact with the religious types that were around me. As an atheist, to me a lot of it fell flat, though he did have salient points about engaging the religious community.

But when he called for ‘not being afraid of people quoting scripture to me’? Really, I don’t even bother engaging that since it means to me that they’re just abandoning reason from the outset. Why would I even bother talking a fairytale? I know it means a lot to a lot of people, so I’ll do my best, but you’ll see my eyes glaze over and attempt to change the subject to something more productive.

Anyway, some of the stories he related were poignant - about during his ordaining to bishop, having to wear bulletproof vests because of a bomb threat. Another story related how when he started a youth group in Concord, almost none of the kids that came to it came from a particularly religious background, but all of them knew about the passage in Leviticus and the meaning of ‘abomination’. Or, I should say, the prevalent meaning of ‘abomination’.

A couple of things that did stick with me, though, was when he talked about recognizing the fact that 90% of the vitriol and oppression that came from religions came from Abrahamic religions specifically, and they had a lot to overcome if that were ever to affect change. And that, similarly, Desmond Tutu in his foreword of Robinson’s upcoming book specifically, and without reservation, begs for forgiveness for all of that, from lgbt* people because of all the oppression they’d suffered from the religious.

Today was my first Academy session. I attended the GLAAD-run session hosted by Rashad Robinson, senior Director for Media Programs. It was really insightful. It centered around building a communications strategy for your particular organization’s goals. We discussed what the media is, how they operate, and how we can use them to forward our agenda. A large focus was put on knowing to whom you’re talking and what you’re trying to say. For any given audience, you need to know how to tailor your comments in ways that resonate best. The general populace was divided into three main camps: your Base, the Movable Middle, and your Opposition. Clearly, each of these groups will be offended by certain statements, from calling them “Crazy Fundamentalists” to using “Gay and Lesbian” instead of LGBTQQINGSPOC. Therefore knowing to whom you’re talking and what you’re trying to say helps you maximize your talking points’ effectiveness.

This culminated in all the participants actually crafting our own talking points based either on personal goals or those of the organization we’re affiliated with. Some topics discussed were marriage initiatives in Arizona, mentoring for queer youth, and being disowned by your family.

From my perspective, the topic of greatest concern was bridging the gap between people of religious groups. One woman in the session crafted her talking points around St. Paul being quoted out of context, saying that the Greek he used for “abomination” actually referred to “not commonly held as fruitful”. Since the Jewish people in Palestine at the time were seeing a low birth rate, homosexuality was merely not as beneficial to the community, not an abomination. The facilitator was quick to point out that not only was the talking point excessively specific, but also on a topic that’s not going to change anyone’s mind in a 15-second sound bite. GLAAD apparently has recognized this on a national level and now has an office for faith-in-media relations.

It’s a touchy subject that isn’t going to change anyone’s mind on Crossfire or The Daily Show. It’s a more appropriate discussion in an op-ed piece or a small facilitated discussion group. Unfortunately, most of the Movable Middle doesn’t read op-ed pieces nor do they attend diversity training at the local LGBTQQINGSPOC community center. So where can we have this discussion? Not sure yet. I’m sure someone will tell me before the weekend is over.

Kate Clinton ranged from funny to banal… here are some of the funnier lines

“I’d like, now to have a moment of silence for someone we’ve just lost… Mitt Romney just pulled out of the Republican race.  Omit! Remit! Mitt Mitt you’re full of shit, goodbye!”

“For those with mad vow disease, the freedom to marry coalition will meet…”

“In a stroke of genius, they put the gay family institute, next to the sexual freedom institute, in the hope that gay mothers and fathers sometime might have sex again…”

To young lesbians in the audience, on her turning 60 this year: “”Come on up here and get gummed!”
“There will come a day when your thanksgiving turkey will be wetter than your vagina!”
“You’ll reach for the KY and get the Ben Gay”

After a video introduction from the governor: “Unfortunately we didn’t get a video message from the mayor, just a text message”

Ok, so why aren’t there politicians as eloquent and well spoken as the NAACP chairman? If there’s anything to make you aware your president isn’t much more than an ape who is barely sapient, it’s listening to someone speak who has an excellent grasp of the English language, uses actually relevant cultural references, and makes real points.

At least he’s gone soon enough…

We’re all registered - we came down early because The Arimathean wanted to hit one of the early day-long institutes on religion - and I wanted to check out to see where there were wireless signals ;o) There’s some great sessions coming up in the next few days, and I find myself looking forward the most to a bloggers pow-wow going on tomorrow afternoon. It’ll be interesting to see if there are any bloggers that I know covering the conference.

So far, a very wide diversity of people, and it’s surprisingly busy for as early as it is. I’ve seen only a few people I recognize, so it seems like the Detroit people are holding off until the weekend.

I forgot how much I like the Ren Cen … My first date with Gary was down here ;o)

Welcome to Creating Change!

I’ve been inundated so far with tons of pamphlets, schedules, newsletters, welcomes, flourescent-paper, etc. Therefore it’s now my turn to inundate you with my own personal welcome and intro.

I’m Joseph, a blogger from Chicago. I was born and raised in Birmingham, AL. My family is traditionally Southern Baptist, so you already know where I’m coming from. Most of my posts will be religious/theological in nature, as I’ve spent most of my life studying and researching the many faiths the world has to offer. I’m an opera singer, a linguist, a writer, and a music geek.

I chose St. Joseph of Arimathea as my avatar for two main reasons. First, we share a name. Second, Joseph was the man who volunteered to take care of Jesus’s body after he passed. This care extended in Christian lore to his care of his family and friends afterwards. I like to think that my take on Christianity takes care of most people’s worries about it, from Atheist to Hindu to Platonist. I like to open dialogue and challenge people’s entrenched assumptions about faith in order to foster growth between communities. I hope to learn a great deal about bridging those gaps while I’m here this weekend. Enjoy the ride!

You know what sucks? Doin’ it to the same ol’ sex songs (“Sexual Healing”! “Justify My Love”!). Need a less-archaic foreplay-to-finish compilation to spice up the crib with that longtime lover or “friend” – or the person you’re about to find online? The following totally gay pop list was tested for sexiness, longevity and versatility. Just not herpes – so keep a rubber close by.

“Feel Like Makin’ Love,” Mary J. Blige

Think of MJB as your evening’s Soulful Sex Host. With this slinky slow-jam, the No-Shit-Taking Troubadour sets the heavy-petting mood: Set me free. Pull me closer. Go slow. Turn off the light. Stay the night. Someone did her research!
“Kiss Me,” Melissa Etheridge

When the raspy rock-star shouts “Come out and play!” on this come-hither jam, you better know that she’s referring to doing the dirty – not playing Trivial Pursuit. Otherwise, just stop now. Seriously.

“Shut Up and Drive,” Rihanna

Laced with driving double-entendres (“Can you handle the curves?”), this sexy-seasoned synth rocker will surely rev up the homo-horny-factor as she insists, “Step into my ride.” Odds are, you’re probably already there.

“So Lonely,” Twista with Mariah Carey

You can almost feel the steam from this smooth, smoldering hip-hop jam about riding the “horsy,” going all night and trying to keep it down so the neighbors don’t hear. If you’re anything like M.C., who pants like a tired pooch in between Twista’s dirty rhymes, then you’re screwed.

“Ooh Ooh Baby,” Britney Spears

Think of B.S. as a gas tank. On this saucy cut from “Blackout,” the newly-reborn Brit likes to be filled up –with love! Just don’t make the mistake of thinking this is about her making those neglected babies. ’Cause it’s not. Really.

“Oh My God,” Pink with Peaches

“Let me feel you, baby,” Pink coos. And you will! During woman-on-woman fornication-fest (where Peaches claims Pink’s vers), the two flirt with lesbianism as the pop-punk rocker asks the rapper to throw her on the table – and then, you know, pretend she’s Thanksgiving dinner.

“Would You Mind” Janet Jackson

Ms. Jackson punctuates this slinky, X-rated musical moan-a-thon by saying, “The song ended. I didn’t even get to come. Did you?” After 10 songs, let’s sure as hell hope you responded with a, “Ooh yeah. Twice.”

For more “Bedroom Beats” visit www.pridesource.com on Thursday. Now your turn. Tell me what song revs your horny-factor? And what’s the last tune you screwed to?

…this…

…that…

…and him…

Oh, and briefly stepping in to cover for Christ!

Now I’m back. And ready to celebrate soap star/joke Brenda Dickson’s birthday (I know, I know. I’m a li’l late. So hopefully eating Cracklin’ Oat Bran with sliced banana will make her happy) and attend the Creating Change conference. Detroit, here come the gays.

On this page, you will have unprecedented access to the Between the Lines staff, and their daily thoughts and opinions. This February 6th through 10th, you’ll see us blogging about our experiences at the Creating Change conference taking place here in Detroit at the Renaissance Center.

So welcome, bookmark us, and come back frequently!

By the time Patty Griffin dived into her first song – the childhood-inspired “Chief” – during Ann Arbor’s Folk Festival tonight, I was already touching myself to make sure I really was there. I was. Because, by the end of headliners’ half of the 4-and-a-half hour show, I melted right into my comfy chair at Hill Auditorium as Griffin (with beeeautiful harmony from Emmylou Harris) gave me a musical morsel I thought I’d leave without: “Mary,” a delicate death ode (check out the video recording from a Virginia stop below). It only seemed appropriate that the two gifted guitar goddesses combine folk forces on one of several duets they’ve recorded. “Mary” no doubt ranks as one of the best. Without it, I’d still be more than satisfied. After all, the latter half of the show was a striking exercise in divine harmonies, goofy monkey-spanking (Emmylou and Shawn Colvin used their squeaky toy monkeys during the chorus of Patty’s perseverance-anthem “Mad Mission”) and lots of down ditties. Still, that heartbreaking closing gem catapulted the Emmylou-Patty-Shawn show (with guitar great Buddy Miller) from a femme-powered meal into one complete with a delish dessert.
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Heath Ledger was on top. And soon his much-touted twisted Joker role in “The Dark Knight,” the next “Batman” installment, was about to catapult him further into superstardom. But, even so, no role of his can compare to the unforgettable Ennis, the deeply-wounded gay cowboy in “Brokeback Mountain.” With it, he pushed the envelope. Some said his career could’ve nose-dived. It didn’t. But his life did. Today, Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment. Indeed, to lose someone so talented, so young and so daring is devastating. All I have to say is: Thank you, Heath, for giving us a story we’ll never forget.
For more on Heath Ledger’s death, go here: http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2008-01-22-heath-ledger-obit_N.htm

So rumor has it Mariah Carey’s follow-up to blockbuster “The Emancipation of Mimi” will be called “That Chick.” Not much info is out on the album (except for a few album tracks like torch-song “Bye Bye” and uptempo “Lovin’ You Long Time”), but the first still-untitled single is due late this month, and the album is slated for an April release. Here’s the latest (half-naked!) Mimi photo circulating the Web.

That’s where I was – at least from the look of this photo – after getting to ask Mary J. Blige how she shakes it in those high-heeled boots, and what it was like being The Advocate’s cover-girl (look for her answers in Between The Lines this week). Friends say I look a little high, a little star-struck, a little like “OMG, that’s Mary J. Blige breathing on me!” What do you think my face is saying?

Who thinks of someone like Mariah as a go-to fashion icon – besides a rainbow-butterfly-glitter-obsessed pre-pubescent teenage girl? Not me. Any classy chick might take a hint from Mary J. Blige, though, who almost always assures her boobs have a home and who’ll perform this Saturday at the GM Style event, an invitation-only preview to the auto show. GM couldn’t have made a better choice. And this clip from CNN below, of her singing orgasm-cajoling “Come to Me (Peace)” off her latest record (next single, yeah? please!), is just another single piece of evidence that Mary’s better-with-age voice (which makes me wanna call Mary up and tell her, “I feel ya, girl”) is sure to rev-up this car party. Look for coverage on Friday’s GM fashion preview (see ya there, Mary!), which will feature A-list designers along with MJB and Maroon 5 (Adam Levine could model the undies. Just an idea.), who’ll strut their stuff in some newfangled get-ups, in Between The Lines’ Jan. 17 issue. For now, enjoy Mary belting – and working those ginormous hoops. And tell me: Which Mary J. song makes you move, or moves you, or soothes you? Hey, that rhymes!

I have a headache. You see, from the umpteen CDs my ears have digested this year, I could only pick 10 that were super-duper sonic successes. T-E-N. That’s like selecting the top-10 best meals you ate this year (which would be easier if you were Nicole Richie). Alas, I sucked it up (mostly ’cause it’s my job), replaying even crapola – just for you! – until my eardrums begged for a vacay. From uber-big releases or under-the-radar records like my No. 1 selection, I traipsed through some real trash (Kelly Clarkson. Ugh!), but found some true masterpieces buried in between.

10. Amy Winehouse, ‘Back to Black’

She says “no, no, no” to AA, and I say “yes, yes, yes” to this boozy Brit’s stellar sophomore set, which oozes a retro vibe, recalling ’60s Motown girl groups. Not one to hide her much-publicized liquor habit, Winehouse made headlines equally for her fruitful music and her drinking shenanigans. But who’s complaining? Without it, we could forget getting the infectiously stubborn “Rehab.” And that’d be – as Winehouse would say – a bunch of fuckery.

iPod it: “Rehab,” “Tears Dry on Their Own,” “You Know I’m No Good”

9. Alicia Keys, ‘As I Am’
She calls herself a superwoman, and if that nickname entails super-musician, too, then she’s accurate. On soaring “No One” – o

ne of the best singles of the year – Keys’ throaty, emotive voice sails over a hard-hitting drumbeat, punctuated by a sing-a-long “ooh” section. The lively “Teenage Love Affair” follows, along with an ultra-personal pair of goose bump-raising Hallmark moments on “Like You’ll Never See Me Again” and “Tell You Something (Nana’s Reprise).”
iPod it: “No One,” “Tell You Something (Nana’s Reprise),” “Superwoman”

8. Rihanna, ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’
Girl can’t sing like Beyoncé. But – sure! – even on a sunny day, I’d stand under her “Umbrella,” a hella-catchy sing-along set to an electro beat, chanting “ ’ella! ’ella! ’ella!” The ubiquitous single launches a trio of flavorful dance grooves, like the sensually-snappy jam “Don’t Stop the Music.” Pink-ish double-entendre-laced “Shut Up and Drive” rocks, and even the DNA of mid-tempos like Ne-Yo-paired “Hate That I Love You” bring beaming beats.
iPod it: “Umbrella,” “Don’t Stop the Music,” “Shut Up and Drive”

7. Various artists, ‘Hairspray’
Nothing’s impossible: That’s a bunch of BS. Try standing still while listening to “You Can’t Stop the Beat,” an all-star tolerance anthem. Or nearly any other peppy, sugar-heavy song from the movie soundtrack to “Hairspray,” a musical menagerie of rambunctious, rad dance ditties and slower, more soulful songs.
iPod it: “You Can’t Stop the Beat,” “Welcome to the ’60s,” “Good Morning Baltimore”

6. Tegan and Sara, ‘The Con’
Traces of Tegan and Sara Quin’s poppier predecessors pop up, but this queer Canadian duo wallows in more-cryptic, more-mature sonic sizzlers. “Nineteen” and “The Con” are wholly obsessive – the kind of angsty, hook-laced vent-alongs that kick ass, without selling out to mainstream girl-power rock. This is serious lesbian stuff: relationships, relationships, relationships. Just not the way umpteen other chicks have griped ’bout them.
iPod it: “The Con,” “Nineteen,” “Call it Off”

5. The Arcade Fire, ‘Neon Bible’
Church never sounded so damn good. Not “Praise Jesus!”-kinda shtick, but a different sorta divine “Intervention” – a swirl of horns, guitar, drums and the church organ. The Canadian septet’s walloping, whimsical numbers are meditative pieces of spiritually – marked by a body-numbing intensity. It’s enough to bring anyone to their knees.
iPod it: “Windowsill,” “Intervention,” “No Cars Go”

To see the rest of the list, visit www.pridesource.com or pick up an issue of Between The Lines on Jan. 10.

I confess: I spend my work lunches and breaks in my dinky office. Watching YouTube videos. Over and over again. This one of Patty Griffin – who’ll grace Ann Arbor, likely making even the manliest of men bawl, on Jan. 26 as part of the The Ark’s Folk Festival (can’t wait!) – is a li’l nugget I found that just makes me wanna wrap everyone I know in my arms. Yep, even you.

Nothing like knocked-up chicks, a real-life princess, a drag queen and a foodie rat to get someone through 2007. Those zestful personas were the meat and potatoes of a pretty tasty box-office year. Even though some dumb disappointments scored big bucks (”I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”), namely the indies - like rom-com “Juno” and modern-musical “Once” - scored with the critics. Like yours truly.

5. Knocked Up
Something is big in this love-child comedy from perverted director Judd Apatow (”40 Year Old Virgin”). And it isn’t just Katherine Heigl’s belly. It’s those king-sized laughs, earned from zingers like: “It’s doggie style. It’s just the style. We don’t have to go outside or anything.” With class-A players (newcomer Seth Rogen! SNL’s “Penelope” Kristen Wiig! Hottie Paul Rudd!), Apatow’s morally-ambivalent film finds an optimal balance of raunch and chicken-soup moments.

4. Once
Told through some low-fi indie tunes, this small-scale mellifluous gem is an atypical-musical masterpiece. Writer-director John Carney’s simple tale centers on two folks, a street musician (real-life singer-songwriter Glen Hansard) and a woman swooned by his music who urges him to record his tunes. There’s nothing that particularly screams hit: Two people, some instruments, and a mess of alluring tunes. But with its realistic reflections on music and relationships, this nostalgic Irish-indie film brilliantly scores the beat between two souls.

3. Enchanted
Once upon a time, Walt Disney thought up something so good, so magical and so charming. Its name: “Enchanted,” a mostly live-action charmer about a blissfully-ignorant princess who’s forced into the happily-ever-after-less New York City. With a CG-created chipmunk and a brain-dead prince (the yummy James Marsden), giddy Giselle (a super-duper dazzling Amy Adams) tries to ward off a wicked witch to return to her Happy-Go-Lucky Land. Adams glows in this live action-animated hybrid, a cleverly-scripted romp that sizzles with wit, romance and hella-pleasing Disney parodies.

2. Atonement
Simply breathtaking in every sense of the word - luscious cinematography, first-rate performances and a dashing musical score - “Atonement” is a masterful, epic love story. The decade-spanning screen adaptation of Ian McEwan’s novel begins in 1935 and gradually, and gracefully, builds to a bittersweet finale that hits like a natural disaster - both hard and without much warning - resulting from a young girl’s selfish lie. A serious weeper, the seven-time Golden Globe nominee, much like “Titanic,” isn’t easily forgettable.

1. Hairspray
Nothing can top this bubbly dance-off piled high with hardy-har-har gags, fab bouffants and a dress-donning John Travolta. As more-femme Edna Turnblad, Travolta shakes his badonkadonk in ’60s Baltimore, where chubby daughter Tracy (the smashing Nikki Blonsky) scores a stint on a local shimmy show and becomes a bona fide household name. With dazzling musical numbers, an all-star cast and an accept-everyone motif, this rambunctious feel-good flick isn’t one bit sticky. It just shines.

To see selections 6-10, visit www.pridesource.com.

What were your favorite flicks of ‘07? Did “Hairspray” make you wanna shimmy and shake? Was “Atonement” the best epic love story since “Titanic”? Let me know ….

Can’t tell you how elated I was when Borders was having a 50-percent off sale on their calendars. You see, I already have plenty – one filled with only-undie-clad men, a simple to-do wall calendar, a mini At-A-Glance one, and (personal favorite!) an mmm-mmm-good Zac Efron as Link Larkin one (thanks, Jess!). But this semi-corny but totally hilarious doggie spoof (meet Schmitty!) on Hollywood – like “Paws” instead of “Jaws” and “Mary Poopins” – would’ve been worth the regular price. Yeah, yeah, I’m bias ’cause I have a cute-as-a-button Yorkie (pictured!), but February, known as “Housebroke Mountain,” might just turn into March, and April, and May.

Soon, Kevin Stea’s crotch could have its own end credit. Maybe demand more money. Heck, it might even go on strike.

“It could get its own head-shots,” Stea quips from his Los Angeles digs, jokingly adding that fan sites are already popping up, likeTheAdventuresOfMyPenis.com. Today, he’s dazed and crackly, he says, recouping from a DVD-release party for “Naked Boys Singing.” He’s not nude at the moment, by the way.

Is that detail really necessary? Why, yes. This is former Michigander Kevin Stea: a 37-year-old dancer who shook his nearly-bare tush in “Showgirls,” recently stood in as a crotch-double in an upcoming Adam Sandler comedy and is promoting his latest ballsy stint in the off-Broadway film version of “Naked Boys Singing.”

Yep, the one where penises do the teeter-totter like a bass tugging at a fishing pole. The one where Stea pretends - for about four minutes - that he actually adores cleaning. Naked.

“I absolutely, absolutely hate cleaning,” he insists. “Luckily, my boyfriend is very anal retentive and obsessively clean, and he takes care of all that.”

Stea’s a bubbly, charismatic character, but in frenzied social atmospheres, he’s the sorta guy who follows around the hors d’oeuvres server, he says. You wouldn’t know that after seeing him playfully zip, bounce and jiggle around in nothing but long rubber gloves while singing lines like, “Nudity is fun to me, attention is like sex to me, cleaning is good therapy. So until my bills are paid, I really sorta love my job, I’m a naked maid.”

To read more, visit www.pridesource.com

Move over Hannah Montana. Three pint-sized singers are staging a world tour, bringing their adorable sing-and-shimmy schtick to those without hypersensitive ears. 

You’re one of those parents? Then live action-animated hybrid Alvin and the Chipmunks might be aw-worthy enough to scoot on by without you finding fault in the slapped-together story, some lame childish gags and failed attempts at being as hip as, say, Hannah Montana. But even that’s a big, fat question mark.

At least there’s a (predictable) moral, folks: What really matters isn’t umpteen YouTube hits and being branded as a stuffed animal, and living large sure can’t beat all-you-can-eat waffles from “dad” Dave Seville (a likable Jason Lee of My Name Is Earl). Question is: Will Dave take Alvin, Simon and Theodore (voiced by Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler and Jesse McCartney) back with open arms?

Though the helium-voiced troublemakers helped the struggling songwriter score his first hit in years, the classic “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late),” nearly flooding his kitchen and having a field day with his “winter” stash wasn’t so cool. 
Other silly shenanigans – messing up Dave’s biz presentation and crashing a date of his – just added to the mess, causing him to throw his furry “kids” out of the house, and into the arms of his money-hungry boss (David Cross).

To read more, visit www.metroparent.com