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By Matthew Burlingame
Clay Aiken conjures images of “American Idol,” bad spiky hair and about 1001 “Mad TV” skits making fun of his androgynous (read: closeted) persona; the same that followed Liberace and Barry Manilow. Now, however, thanks to several guys cruising sex-chats who can’t keep their mouths shut, he will bring to mind a persona similar to George Michael and Pee Wee Herman. It seems Clay gets lonely on the road and allegedly logs onto manhunt.net to cruise the clientele and show them his chest over his webcam.
Who cares, right? Apparently a group of bitter ex-fans who spent their allowances on Clay’s CDs and are shocked at the revelation that Clay is interested in sex–especially GAY sex. They are now considering a complaint with the Trade Commission and a Class Action lawsuit against Clay and his record company.
“As consumers, we feel ripped off…the private Clay is very different from the manufactured packaged public Clay that was marketed to us,” said a spokesman for the group. They believed Clay was marketed as an asexual, choirboy and were unhappy when they discovered different (even though a number of his song lyrics express gender unspecific sexual overtures).
If the complaint is found to be true, however, it will result in criminal and civil penalties, including fines, and corrective advertising. Consumers could also seek reimbursement.
Sounds completely ridiculous, right? Not really. If Clay is dragged to court and his life exposed in the same manor as Oscar Wilde’s was over 100 years ago, the results could be a lot more dangerous than just having Clay saying “sorry” to some disillusioned ex-fans. It could be an open door to a series of witch trials cloaked as consumer awareness.
Columbia Video could be sued – Lucy’s hair wasn’t naturally red. Mel Gibson sued — he masked his Australian accent in “Lethal Weapon.” Dolly Parton sued — that’s not her real hair! A country singer from New York! Sue! SUE!
Then whenever we see a celebrity appear on TV, a little voice will come on screen reading a full disclosure notice about their lives the same way the drug companies must on their commercials. Next up, Michael Jackson — voiceover: former child singer with the Jackson 5, has had too many plastic surgeries, divorced twice, two children, hung one out a window, cleared of pedophilia charges…etc.
Anyone with functioning gaydar would look at Clay and say “GAY!” Yet he still denies it publicly. Because of that, we try to keep an open mind. Now, thanks to “well-meaning” gay chat users, whom I’m sure were just chatting about politics themselves (after all, one was a school teacher) the evidence now leads us to believe Clay lied to us about being a hide-the-sausage-loving pole smoker. That didn’t persuade one online fan who wrote, “Clay Aiken is straight. Leave him alone you ugly homosexuals. Quit trying to make him like you. It isn’t going to work.”
Yup. Now it’s our fault. Supposedly we WANT Clay to be gay. Because… why? We need yet another Sominex-voiced Manilow-look-alike to worship? Please, Mary!
If Clay Aiken should be sued, it should be for being moronic enough to use his real name and send digicam pics of himself shirtless on an adult chat and think they wouldn’t be made public.
While we’re at it, let’s sue the guys who chatted with him and tried to make a fast buck off outing him — something still considered a gay sin in many circles. Isn’t that deception and false advertising? Let’s sue straight actors who play gay roles; the “Brokeback” actors for not being real cowboys; Celine Dion for the CDs she sung in English before she even spoke it. Or better yet, if Clay is gay, let’s sue him for saying he wasn’t — seems to me that is not only deceptive advertising, but defamation of character.
Whatever the outcome of this situation, hopefully Clay will learn that next time he’s lonely, just cough up the $200 for a male escort like other closeted celebs and save your fans the heartache.