1. Act “as if.” For example, if a person is not very confident but wants to approach someone and the shy individual acts “as if” he or she is the most attractive, confident individual in the bar, his or her brain will respond by creating powerful neural networks to support that act.
2. Take the risk, and just walk up to someone and say, “Hi, my name is … What’s your name?” This is rather simplistic but it works. I would not recommend going up to someone and saying, “Hey, you are really hot!”
3. Make appropriate eye contact and smile. Lack of eye contact demonstrates someone who may be untrustworthy, who may not be so confident, or who may not really be interested in what the other person is saying.
4. Ask open-ended questions (questions that require more than a yes or no answer). For example, “What kind of work do you do? What do you do for fun?”
5. Be authentic. LGBT folks are very good at being able to tell when someone is being disingenuous and are more likely to reject a person like this.
1. Ever feel that another person is more valuable or more than yourself. Remember, the other person is a normal person just like you.
2. Take a rejection personally. Some people are going to be interested in us and some are not and that’s OK. Let it go and move on. The more people we approach the greater chance of meeting a potential partner or new friend.
3. Wait for someone to approach you. If you see someone you might be interested in, go for it. You have nothing to lose but the possibility of meeting a new friend.
4. Expect someone to approach you if you are huddled in a circle of five of your friends.
5. Approach someone if you have been drinking too much. Being approached by a drunk, gay man/woman is not pretty or flattering!