Parting Glances: Turnabout’s fair lay, er, play

By |2018-01-16T06:28:54-05:00September 21st, 2006|Opinions|

I’m not one to take candid Polaroids of other peoples dirty laundry drip drying on the clothes line of their rose-covered, white-picket-fenced, air-conditioned-pet-house backyards.
But, as I’m in a devil-may-care mood (I almost got laid Tuesday), so be it. Heaven forgive me for what I’m about to unzip. Feel free to look the other way or, better still, go put quarters in somebody’s expired parking meter.
I just thought we PG “unwashed, unworthy sinners” have a right to a peekaboo about how some of the other half lives – especially when some of the other half (the not-infrequently half-witted other half) are so GD holier than thou, thou, and especially thou.
These puritanical cub reporters – with their own flash bulbs at the ready – think nothing of piously pointing their lenses at us rainbow unsaved who like to party a bit and now and then do get caught with our proverbial pants down. After all, we’re only human. (Thou excluded.)
I realize I run the risk of being denounced from storefront and mega-church pulpits alike for snitching on these goody-two-sandals. It’s all right for them to throw stones. They can dish it out. But show them your unbra’d tit for their well-bridled tat, and you’re persecuting them.
Their battle cry – sing it! “marching as to war” – is fam-ah-lee values. Amen! We fags and dykos are the antithesis of their biblical Dick-Jane-and-See-Spot-Run set. We have no right to play Ward and June to America’s Leave it to Beaver real-life familial reruns. (Adam & Eve = Cain & Abel. Not Adam & Steve = Kids & Cable.)
As no one has vacated the barstool to save a fellow human being from yet another unmerited traffic ticket, here’s a few dirty snappers gleaned from the net ( PS: There are more.
POLAROID #1: (Washburn, MO): “Five defendants are accused of molesting five girls. One of those arrested, pastor George Otis Johnston, 63, called it ‘angel kisses’ when he touched one girl sexually before and after church services. Johnston also allegedly told the girl that ‘he was ordained by God to fulfill her needs as a woman’. The abuse against her started when she was 8 and lasted until she was 16.”
POLAROID #2: (Fort Worth, TX): “Agape Christian Fellowship’s board has fired the church’s pastor, Terry Hornbuckle, because of his sexual assault convictions. Hornbuckle, 44, who founded the [thousand-member] church in an abandoned Dairy Queen, was convicted Aug. 22 of [drugging and] raping three women, two of whom were former congregants. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison.”
POLAROID #3: “The Tuesday trial of evangelist Kent Hovind and his wife, Jo, has been rescheduled for Oct. 17 in the U.S. District Court in Pensacola [FLA]. Hovind, who calls himself ‘Dr. Dino,’ operates Dinosaur Adventure Land, a Pensacola theme park on North Palafox Street dedicated to creationism. Hovind is facing 58 federal tax charges, including evading nearly $470,000 in employee taxes.”
And this last, all-too-wacky-to-be-believed (but I-swear-to-God-it’s-true-nonetheless) candid shot, snapped again in sizzling Fort Worth TX, W’s beloved Lone Star State:
POLAROID #4: “The [22-year-old] woman told police, [pastor] Leonard Ray Owens said she had a sex spirit and lesbian demon inside her that he needed to cast out. He asked her to lie on the floor and began yelling at her saying ‘Loose her in the name of Jesus,’ according to an arrest warrant affidavit. The woman told police that Owens pulled down her pants as he called for the demons to come out.”
And not from the closet, either.

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BTL Staff
Between The Lines has been publishing LGBTQ-related content in Southeast Michigan since the early '90s. This year marks the publication's 27th anniversary.