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Sleepy partner would rather watch TV than dance

Q: I'm pissed. Ever since the Mark Foley news came out, people in my family have been asking if I've hooked up with any 16-year-olds lately. I don't know whether to be mad at Mark Foley or my family. I guess that I am mad at both.
I don't understand why people think I'm a pedophile because another gay person is one. When a heterosexual pedophile is caught, I don't go to my family or straight friends and ask them when the last time they "hooked up" with a kid I wish I could have the same respect. I know you can't do anything about this, but I wanted to express my anger.
Strictly Legal

A: Your point is well made. But since so many people see homosexuality as "other than the norm" or an outright perversion, they tend to throw pedophilia in the same bag with being gay. And you are right, this is something they don't do with heterosexual pedophiles. Hopefully, someday homosexuality will be viewed more accurately and positively. Then we won't have to deal with this. By the way, I wouldn't call Mark Foley a pedophile since 16 is the age of consent in many places and in other places people can get married at that age and even younger. And we haven't heard – as of this writing – that he has had any sexual contact with younger boys. However, for certain, he has demonstrated questionable ethics and used bad judgment, but pedophilia is another matter.

Q: I've been with my partner "Kellie" for six years. We are very much in love and have had a good life together. However, in the last six months, she has changed. She used to be energetic and wanted to do things with me. Now, she come home from work and just wants to lie down and watch TV or sleep. This is true for the weekends as well. We don't go out anymore and when friends call for us to do things, she says that she just wants to stay at home and catch up on her sleep. She barely even gets her clothes ready for the next work week. I usually end up doing them for her.
I ask her if she's feeling OK and she says that she is, it's just that she's tired and that her job wears her out. She only works 40 hours a week; it's not like she doing 50 or 60 hours. It is not that she all of a sudden gotten this way, it has just gotten worse over time.
I don't want to live like this but I don't know what to do. Kellie doesn't seem very inspirited to try and find out what's wrong because she doesn't think anything is wrong, just a tiring job. We got in a fight about it last week because I was wanting to do something, and again, she didn't want to. (She used to like to dance so I tried to get her to go dancing with me – I love it too.) The fight didn't last long because she went to bed after telling me that I could go out if I wanted to, she was going to rest.
I don't mind going out with friends by myself, sometimes, but I sure don't want a relationship where I don't ever have my partner with me. What can I do to impress on Kellie that I want a life, a life with her. I don't want to break up over this, but I also can't keep living like this. Needing to Dance

A: You haven't mentioned if Kellie has seen a doctor recently, if not, that's where you should start. Fatigue is a symptom for many things – like chronic fatigue syndrome, diabetes, and on and on. She needs to first eliminate any physical conditions that might be causing the fatigue. If and when she does eliminate a physical basis for her fatigue, then it is time to look into whether she is depressed. Depression certainly causes fatigue and a lack of interest in life. It's very important that you get her to a doctor. She's probably not going to want to do that either, since that takes effort as well. You need to persist and help her in any way that gets her there. Good luck.

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Topics: Opinions
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