by Leslie Robinson
Here in the early 21st century, we gays have been blamed for 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, bird flu and the Indian Ocean tsunami. But all that is small potatoes compared with what could be ahead. We'll reach our true destructive potential when we put an end to the human race.
I hope you're taking vitamins. This is going to be demanding.
It's the Polish president who voiced this notion. While on a state visit to Ireland, Lech Kaczynski said the human race "would disappear if homosexuality was freely promoted."
Many Irish eyes weren't smiling after that declaration.
In recent years President Kaczynski has done his level best to squash homosexuality in his country. As the mayor of Warsaw he banned gay Pride in 2004 and 2005. He refused to meet with Pride organizers, reportedly declaring, "I am not willing to meet perverts."
His latest statement indicates he doesn't view us as simply individual degenerates, but rather as a group capable of inflicting the greatest harm on humanity.
You'd think we were secretly stockpiling nukes under gay bars.
If I understand him–and honey, that ain't easy–freely promoting homosexuality means allowing gays to live as gays. No more hiding, no more marrying straight people, and no more having children with those straight people. So if gays were liberated, we'd immediately drop out of the baby-making business.
Not. Perhaps Kaczynski is so ignorant he doesn't know, or doesn't want to know, that gay people can and do have children. We order them from Wal-Mart.
We're only a fraction of the world's population, so even if all gays and lesbians declined to make babies, the rest of the globe's inhabitants would still be procreating up a storm. Unless they got mad at us for not pulling our weight, and ceased to reproduce out of spite.
It seems Kaczynski thinks the rest of the globe's populace would not procreate as before. Allowing people to be openly gay might inspire everyone else to go gay, and stop reproducing. How else to explain his logic that humanity would actually disappear if homosexuality was accepted? It must be because others would jump on the beautifully appointed bandwagon.
The Polish president appears to believe that gayness is going to look so good, the masses will take it up. Like golf.
While I do think lightening up on homosexuality could allow more people to explore different sides of their natures, not for a second do I picture a big, gay world. Heterosexuality would still run rampant–and result in a number of unwanted children worldwide that some gay adoptive parents, Mr. President, would convert into wanted children.
Or instead of making gayness enticing, perhaps he thinks giving rights to homos would be so off-putting to the rest of society, straights would flat out lose their will to have sex. Poof. Gone.
That reasoning echoes those in this country who claim letting gays marry would ruin the institution of marriage. Ya let the gays in, the whole thing loses its appeal.
It could be in my desire to understand what Lech Kaczynski is saying I've missed a totally different meaning: if gays advance humans will disappear because God will be so indignant he'll drop-kick everyone off the planet.
I'm sure the ever-popular subject of God's wrath concerns Kaczynski, especially as his twin brother Jaroslaw, Poland's prime minister, was outed by the Polish media last October.
If President Kaczynski really believes what he said, then he might be taking some pleasure in thinking that a planet devoid of people is finally a planet devoid of homosexuality.
Now is the moment to tell him about gay bugs, beasts and birds.
