Caution: Dick will make you slap somebody. Or at least Alexyss Tylor, the Atlanta Public Access “Vagina Power” pundit, claims so during an episode of her unintentionally-sidesplitting sex talk show.
The babbling bullshitter gives viewers the 411 on the power of The Penis — it’s a heat-seeking missile! — and how chicks get so overwhelmed by it that they’ll haul off and slap their man. As her passive mother stares blankly at her, obviously not understanding why she’s on this silly show (and probably why her daughter even has one!), she asks Tylor, in so many words: What in the h-e-l-l are you talking about?
That’s when her daughter unleashes scientific research about the five info-encoded penis parts: Mental, spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual. And imagine this: Riding a man like he’s a rollercoaster and getting so caught up in his penis (or missile) power that, for a split second, you imagine him firing it off in someone else and, wham!
In what mirrors a Missy Elliott track, Tylor explains: “Dick’ll make you slap somebody in the face; dick’ll make you lose control; dick’ll make you pull a gun and shoot somebody in the damn face.”
Sounds like a smash hit.