Gov. Gretchen Whitmer addressed the State of Michigan after a plan to kidnap her and other Michigan government officials was thwarted by state and federal law enforcement agencies. She started by saying thank you to law enforcement and FBI agents who participated in stopping this [...]
Q: I am so enraged I can hardly write this but I want to see if you think I am right to be so pissed. Here’s what happened: I went to Pride March with my boyfriend, “Jerry.” We haven’t been together all that long. I have known all along he is pretty jealous but I always was kind of flattered because I figured he loved me a lot. Anyway, that’s what he always says, he’s just green because he loves me so much.
Anyway, I digress. We were at Pride March and I was visiting with a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. Jerry didn’t know anybody because he just moved into town a couple of months ago. Well, I kept trying to introduce him but after awhile I just forgot about him. Then,
I was talking to my former lover, “Tim,” when Jerry went off on me. He was yelling that I had no right to ignore him and was shouting that I was still in love with Tim, and how dare I embarrass him by flirting like that. Then he slapped me and stomped off. I couldn’t believe what a bitch he was and now I want him to get out of my life and move out of my house.
He’s been crying and whining that he didn’t mean to act like that. He says that he was just so afraid of losing me and that if I hadn’t left him standing there like that while I was flirting with Tim, he would have never lost his temper. But I don’t want to be controlled like that. I know that I was flirting a little, and I know I wasn’t paying any attention to him, but that’s just the way I am and I’m not planning to change anytime soon. If he doesn’t like it, then he needs to get the hell out of my house. I am not going to ignore everyone I know for him. I told him if he doesn’t trust me then there’s the door.
So far he hasn’t left, but it is real tense around our house. He says I owe him an apology for the way I treated him. I think he owes me the apology for his embarrassing behavior. What do you think?
Just Being Me
A: I think you both need help! If you are at all interested in keeping your relationship, I would advise that both of you need to change your behaviors. You admit you were ignoring Jerry and flirting; it’s not surprising that he would be upset and possibly jealous. Jerry should not have yelled at you or slapped you. The two of you are showing little respect for each other. I would suggest that you get into couples therapy and learn more empathic behaviors, communication and anger management skills.
Baby hogs attention
Q: I am a 30-year-old woman. My problem is my best friend, “Beth.” (This is not her real name because I know she reads “Dear Jody” and I don’t want her to know I wrote this). We used to do everything together. We have lots of common interests and just enjoy hanging out and being with each other.
Beth always wanted to have a baby, so she had artificial insemination. Beth recently had her baby, and we were both so excited for “Daniel” to be born. The problem is that everything changed in our relationship now that she is a mom. She doesn’t seem to have time to do things together. She doesn’t want to get a babysitter and when we are together she is either talking about Daniel or paying attention to him. I am embarrassed to say it but I feel like I am competing with Daniel for Beth’s attention. Of course I would never say this to Beth. I know I should just be glad she is a mom and Daniel is a healthy, happy baby. Sometimes I even wish he hadn’t been born. What can I say to Beth so she will see that there is more to life than just Daniel, and she and I can get back to normal?
A: You will have to accept that life has changed for Beth; you will need to create a new normal. It is common for new moms to focus on their infants and little else. I don’t think there is anything you can say to Beth to get your relationship back where it was before Daniel was born. My suggestion is that you make yourself part of their life by being a kind, loving friend that Beth knows she can depend on. As Daniel gets older, Beth will most likely want to get a sitter and go out once and awhile. You might also try expanding your circle of friends so that when Beth is busy you will have others to do things with.
Have a problem? Send your letters to: “Dear Jody,” C/O Between the Lines, 20793 Farmington Road, Suite 25, Farmington, MI 48336. Or, e-mail: DearJodyValley@hotmail.com