by Jody Valley
Panty pilferer seeks hiding place
Q: I have this habit. If anyone found out it would be very embarrassing to me. First, let me tell you that I am 36, female and unattached. I love playing the field and never have wanted a permanent relationship.
Back to my embarrassing habit: I always try to make love at my lover's place so that after I make love to a woman, I steal a pair of her panties, hopefully the ones she was wearing, but if not, I get them from her drawer. When I get them home, I tag them with my lover's name, date the night, and roll them up and put a ribbon around them. I color code them according to how good the night was. I love looking at them.
However, one weekend, recently, when my mother was visiting, she was doing my laundry, and I suddenly realized she might open that drawer as she started putting my things away. Luckily, I was able to head her off at the pass. But then, I got to thinking about what if I died and my family and/or friends found out about this, like when they came to clean out my house. I got to thinking about burying them in the yard, but as I said, I love to look at them.
My question to you is: Do you have any ideas where I could find a secure place for my collection, a place where I could get to them without too much trouble? Please take my problem seriously. I know you get many more serious problems, but this is really important to me.
Panty Problem
A: You haven't asked me about your trophy-like behavior of collecting all those panties — or I should say, stealing them, so I won't address that. But perhaps you might benefit from some therapeutic insight into that behavior. In regards to your panty hiding place, I can't say that I have any good ideas for you. One has to always keep in mind the fragility of life and that at any time someone might be called upon to go through our possessions – that's just a fact of life and death. Something to think about.
Will a tat make me look like a slut?
Q: My partner, "Linda," is upset with me because I want a tattoo. I should tell you that we are both in our early 60s. When we were growing up, tattoos were what "sluttish" girls got, not nice girls. But today, that's not true anymore. Well, secretly, I have always wanted a flower that would be the same as my name. I think it would look very good on me and be quite cool. I want it in a place where everyone can see it. I know that it is silly, but I just want to do it. Linda just keeps saying things like I am too old for that kind of thing, and that I will look foolish at best and surely like a slut. After a lot of arguing about it, Linda and I settled on writing to you and asking your opinion. What do you say about it?
To Tattoo – or Not
A: I can't — no won't — say if you should get a tattoo or not. But I do understand how Linda feels about tattoos given the time that she grew up in. I'm sure it is hard for her to change how she feels about it. However, times have changed and tattoos are now sported by people in all walks of life and are seen quite differently. If it were my partner, I wouldn't want to stand in her way of having something she always wanted, especially when it was really of no consequence. And, what does age have to do with a tattoo? And furthermore, a "nice girl" – when you grew up — wouldn't be a lesbian, either. Thankfully, times change.
Have a problem? Send your letters to: "Dear Jody," C/O Between the Lines, 20793 Farmington Road, Suite 25, Farmington, MI 48336. Or, e-mail: [email protected] (Letters may be edited.)
(Jody Valley spent 12 years as a clinical social worker. She worked with the LGBT community both as a counselor and a workshop leader in the areas of coming out, self-esteem and relationship issues. The "Dear Jody" column appears weekly. Letters may be edited.)
