HEADER The DL on 'Desperate Housewives'
Something bugged Susan Mayer on the fourth installment of the revived new season of "Desperate Housewives." And, no, it's not the crabs – which have crawled their way from Edie's hooha, to Carlos, to Gabby, to that icky politician she's screwing, Victor.
This is something Susan can't fix with some licorice-smelling medicine: It's getting the gays to like her. Yep, we're talking about Bob and Lee, the cute queer couple who moved next door to the always-klutzy plumber's wife. With any new gaybors, it's good to make a gong-ho effort to make it known – or at least make them think – that your level of insanity doesn't rival President Bush's. For Susan, that requires as much work as baking some cookies. Which she does – uh, sort of – in efforts to assuage her dim-witted embarrassing rant during move-in day.
"I watch a lot of cable," she insists, trying ultra hard to make it known that: Yes, she's down with the gays. Oops, strike one. Then, her attempt at baking for the guys falls short after she pretends to have whipped up some homemade yummies – only she didn't actually pull a Martha Stewart. She simply warmed up some store-bought cookies. No biggie, right?
Problem is: Lee's allergic to nuts (the edible kind, guys!), asks Susan whether she used them in the recipe, and she gives the hell-if-I-know look – and crumbles a cookie to find out. Bad, Susan.
Her ultimate go at getting on the gay's good side ends up costing Susan and hubby Mike Delfino a few extra smackers – $2,000 to be exact! – after the loony nuisance sticks their pooch in her garage, so that when they come home looking for Rafael, Susan will swoop in with their pet. Too bad Mike gets home before she can come to the rescue, opens the garage, and out runs the doggie – with yellow paint all over his paws. And then the four-legged creature got it all over his master.
Poor Sus.
The pair of queens arriving on Wisteria Lane was just the icing on an already-primo episode of "Desperate Housewives," now in its fourth season. The Edie-Carlos-Gabby-Victor love affair (soon to become a five-some if the gardener, returning on Sunday, revisits Gabby's yard – wink, wink) got itchy when crabs invaded.
Lynette Scavo turned her hubby's fantasy into reality with various guises after he ripped her cancer wig during some feisty sexcapades. Bree Hodge walked on thin ice when her mother-in-law found out she's not carrying a real baby. And new neighbor Katherine Mayfair's creepy past came back to haunt her through her dying aunt. Only thing scarier? The look on Bree's face after she'll witness her sneaky son in drag during a November sweeps Halloween episode.
