There's something somewhat perverse in describing "Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical" as "sweet," but this tongue-in-cheek parody of one the world's first successful "mainstream" porno flicks is just that: sweet.
Yet it's also fun and cheesy and trashy and bouncy – and disappointing if you show up to Ferndale's Ringwald Theatre expecting nudity or live sex.
Still, the Who Wants Cake? Theatre production is everything you'd expect of a kitschy, adult comedy that screws with a 1978 skin flick that somehow managed to earn megabucks from an eager public that didn't seem to mind just how bad it really was. (The original was followed by four sequels, which doesn't speak highly of America's taste in entertainment.)
The razor-thin plot adheres to the film quite closely: A gorgeous and sexy suburban high school virgin earns a spot on the internationally famous Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleaders squad, but she has no way to pay her way to Texas. So her fellow cheerleaders decide to help by working odd jobs to raise the cash. But with only two weeks until Debbie has to report to Dallas – and minimum wage at a lowly $2.90 an hour – the girls discover that their best assets ARE their best assets. And as a result, it's not just their combined income that quickly rises!
The play, originally conceived and produced by Susan L. Schwartz and adapted by Erica Schmidt, lifts much of the hokey dialogue directly from the film. And serviceable songs by Andrew Sherman fill the spots where much of the sex should take place.
But what keeps the production from turning into a one-joke groaner is the lively (but often cramped) staging of Jamie Richards and the ever-bouncy performances of its buxom female characters.
Everything about Richards' production evokes the atmosphere of a quick, cheaply made and (in this case, deceptively) not well-acted X-rated movie: The painted red, white and blue back wall is plain; the few props look handmade; the men's costumes are likely to have come from the Salvation Army rather than a high school locker room. And the canned music – a requirement, not an artistic choice – only adds to the mood.
Even the choice of men to play the football players helps achieve his goal. (All three are talented actors, but buff, tight high school jocks they're not. They're much more believable as the girls' satisfied customers.)
The women, however, are uniformly spectacular – and spectacular in their uniforms. Each jiggles and giggles with gleeful abandon, and their over-the-top characterizations breezily capture (AND poke fun of) the cheesy work that defines the cinematic genre.
Christa Coulter is especially on target as the trampy, pouty Lisa, while future senator Tammy is energetically brought to life by Jennifer Hirsch.
Also loads of fun is Joe Bailey as Donna. A unique twist to the production that came about when the originally-cast actress had to bow out, Bailey – who's built nothing whatsoever like a cheerleader – scores plenty of laughs as the gravelly-voiced, angst-filled teen. Even more impressive, however, is how well he moves and performs the cheers.
But it's doe-eyed Jessalyn Guizzotti who steals the show as Debbie. Gorgeous and with an amazingly expressive face and singing voice, Guizzotti has mastered the difficult art of purposely overacting. The result is a sweet and lovable portrayal that successfully walks the fine line between caricature and character.
The production is not for the easily offended, however. Plenty of simulated sex acts are served – and quite creatively, too. But you'll never look at a candlestick or an unpeeled banana in quite the same way ever again.
(FOR "REVIEW BOX")
REVIEW:
'Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical'
Who Wants Cake? Theatre at The Ringwald, 22742 Woodward Ave., Ferndale. Fri.-Mon., through April 29. Tickets: $10-$20. For information: 248-556-8581 or http://www.whowantscaketheatre.com
