Advertisement

Parting Glances: Sister's rhythm method

Sixty years ago a British historian started a rumor that Richard the Lionheart was gay, based on a parchment saying the king (who ruled England with anything but a limp wrist from 1189 to 1199) had spent a cozy night in bed with Philip ll Augustus, king of France.
It's the same sort of voulez-vous-couchez-avec-moi historical gossip supposedly dug up about Abe Lincoln; although contemporary scholars say male bed sharing in times of few bachelor accommodations is not an indicator of sexual behavior (or, one might add, political persuasion).
In King Richard's case, says Prof. John Gillingham, London School of Economics, in a recent interview with BBC's Radio Times, ""The idea wasn't even mooted until 1948 and it stems from an official record announcing that, as a symbol of unity between the two countries, the kings of France and England had slept the night in the same bed.
"It was an accepted political act, nothing sexual about it; just two politicians literally getting into bed together, a bit like a modern-day photo opportunity."
PHOTOPLAY: Your candid camera or mine? Shall we do it French style this time, your Grace? Or, how about a few interesting Anglo-Saxon attitudes, your Majesty? And, while we're at it, how about a rousing chorus of God Save the Queen? (Just in case.)
As Richard the Lionheart has been lionized over the centuries and much-wed Philip ll noted for joining him on the Third Crusade, the juxtaposition of their royal rumps in bed comes under the rubric of politics makes strange bedfellows. (Those who fight together, fornicate together.)
What's more important than this quibbling about did Richard the Lionheart and Philip ll Augustus get it on? — did Abe and partners go Log Cabin Republican 150 years ahead of time? — is the rather splendid notion that political bed sharing can be a handy tool for exploring social intercourse on top (or bottom) of the body politic.
And it just might be a heckofa lot more effective (downright courtly even) that, instead of suggesting Can't we haggle or hash this out? to say, Hey! I've got a bodacious idea: let's sleep on this, either at your crib, my castle, or both.
There's precedent. Couples wanting to get hitched back in "old days" slept together in the same bed with a plank separating them. It was strictly for getting acquainted, without any untoward hanky panky. It was called bundling.
(Note: It's come to Parting Glances' attention that some adventuresome ex-gay gropes, er, groups, are using bundling to achieve comfort levels between ex-gays and heterosexuals. But because of the presence of all-night, prayer warrior chaperones, bundling as yet has not proven biblically uplifting or psychologically downloading. Thermies and bathrobes don't help much either.)
Anyway, the PG Advisory Board, chaired by Sr. Serena Scatterpin, Renegade Sisters of Mary, is proposing that those who are in what's known as opposing camps — gays, lesbians, fundygelicals — Democrats, Republicans — sail boaters, stink boaters — rap fans, opera lovers — whatever the polarity — get together twice a month (more often, if the problem's really "a doosey") and sleep things to satisfactory conclusions. "Sorta the Rhythm Method Redux."
"It's one thing to walk a mile in another's shoes (or designer high heels)," adds Sr. Scatterpin, "it's something else to chat up somebody you cuddle overnight with, who — gender, sexual orientation, politics, monetary considerations aside (escorts included) — you just might pleasantly discover that, underneath it all, you share delightful viewpoints in common. Just be willing to explore your differences creatively. Chaperones or thermies optional."

Advertisement
Topics: Opinions
Advertisement
Advertisement