Creep of the Week: Pat Robertson

By |2018-01-23T00:42:59-05:00June 26th, 2008|Opinions|

Angel rapers! That’s what homosexuals are. That’s right, you heard me. Homosexuals rape angels.
What, you don’t believe me? It’s in the Bible! Pat Robertson said so.
And because gays rape angels, they should not be allowed to get married in Los Angeles, or any other godforsaken city in the state of California or in the entire country for that matter. Heck, make that the entire world.
Such was the logic behind Robertson’s June 16 message on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “In the Bible the term for this is not gay, it is not homosexual, it is sodomy,” he said, “and sodomy speaks of a city in the ancient days where people were so gross they actually tried to rape angels. That’s how bad they were, and God said I’ve had all of this I can take.”
I’m tempted to throw in a “that’s what she said” joke here, possibly substituting “she” with “he,” but that would be wildly inappropriate seeing as we’re talking about God and all…
Or, more specifically, Pat Robertson is talking about God. And Lord knows how credible he is on that subject.
Robertson went on to give a brief synopsis of the Sodom and Gomorrah story, conveniently leaving out the part of that story where Lot says, “Hey, don’t rape these angels. Rape my daughters instead.”
But God isn’t the only subject Robertson is a self-proclaimed expert on. He’s positioning himself to be the religious right’s go-to sodomy man as well (a position for which there is a lot of competition).
“Sodomy. In all history, as far as I can tell, any nation that embraces this so-called lifestyle, and legalizes it, celebrates it, protects it, is on the ash-can of history,” he said. “Every single one has gone into decline. There’s not one that’s survived once this happens.”
Every single one, eh? Well Pat, only you would know since, “as far as I can tell” you’re making all of this shit up. But then, prejudice need cite no sources.
Robertson continued, “And the institution of marriage is so important and to cheapen it, degrade it in this fashion, and it’s being done by a few nonelected judges, or elected judges whichever, but by one vote minority in a couple of the states.”
It’s been said before, but it bears repeating, letting two women or two men marry each other doesn’t “cheapen” or “degrade” marriage. Opposite couples have been doing a fine job of that for years.
And which is it, Pat, nonelected or elected judges? Who’s the enemy here? Are you saying all judges are untrustworthy heathens or just the ones that issue rulings you don’t like? You and your 700 Club buddies need to get your talking points straight. You don’t want to come off sounding like a confused old man who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. That’s John McCain’s job.
“It’s opened the floodgates,” Robertson lamented about gay marriage. “Whew. What does it say? You’ve sown the wind, you’ve reaped the whirlwind.”
Translation: the next hurricane is on you, homos.

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D'Anne Witkowski is a writer living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.