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Gorefest or borefest?

Chris Azzopardi

Gay or straight, horror fans can agree on a couple of things. We like seeing severed heads bounce on the pavement like a basketball. And we never mind seeing zombies make out by munching on each other's stinky, green flesh.
Horror geeks, Ghost House Underground offers both in their mostly entertaining, genre-jumping eight-film collection, which features a wacky teacher, a zombie-invaded prom and enough fake blood to paint the Renaissance Center red. Multi-lingual, the set features American, Russian, Italian, Danish and Finnish films, and if there's one more thing we can agree on, it's crappy dubbing. We all mind that (so watch the subtitled versions).
Dead on arrival is the American "Brotherhood of Blood," a snoozy suckfest (in more than one way) that looked like it was produced on a lower budget than some student-made flicks I've seen. It moves at a Michael Myers pace and bores with blah characters and a dull story. It also totally wastes two of its key players: horror film habitues Sig Haig and Ken Foree (both of Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects").
Less scary-bad with a like-whoa opening sequence is "No Man's Land: The Rise of Reeker," but not-so-creepy "The Substitute," with it's surprising depth and unexpected laughs, and the biting (pun intended)"Dance of the Dead" are bloody good.
The horror satire, a "Night of the Living Dead" and gay-fave "Pretty in Pink" merging, would've easily done a happy un-dead dance at the box-office had it not received straight-to-DVD treatment.
In Gregg Bishop's icky living-dead hoot, zombies looking for their next meal threaten prom night. What's scarier? The nerds, cheerleaders and jocks must band together (imagine that!) to fight these mo-fos and save their last dance – and each other. Gags, like a zombie bathroom stall scene that gives a new meaning to "eating out," are – excuse the word choice – gut-busting. To boot, there are strong teen actors (it's possible!), gore galore and shockingly solid effects. Killer stuff!

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