by Jessica Carreras
Feel like a wuss when it comes to chatting it up with that cute girl or guy at the bar? Worried that you're passing up a chance to meet Mr. or Ms. Right? Sick of the gay dating scene?
Gary Barris wants you to know that you're not alone – and that he just might have a solution.
"My friend and I were talking and we were discussing that their must be a better way to meet people than the bar scenes," said Barris, a Waterford resident. "Not that there's anything wrong with the bars, but a lot of times people go to the bars and don't have the courage to go up to someone else and start talking."
And so, Gay Match Speed Dating was born – with plans for the first lesbian event on May 13.
Barris, with his friend and business partner, founded the business just this year, and held a trial event in February at Como's Restaurant in Ferndale, both to test their ideas and to drum up interest in the service.
The response, said Barris, was even better than they expected. "It went really well. We had feedback sheets and everybody gave us really good feedback," he said. "They liked the setting, the atmosphere. They liked the service where they were able to interview people within, like, eight minutes. They liked that because it's stress-free and there's really no pressure."
Barris said that although there have been other gay speed dating events in the area, Gay Match Speed Dating is different in several ways, including the location, the way people are matched and the fact that the entire service is only for the LGBT community.
Gay Match Speed Dating matches people based on characteristics such as age, interests and personality type through a questionnaire filled out online before the event on their Web site, http://www.gaymatchspeeddating.com. Then, the men or women are given 10 nine-minute dates and notified of their responses and positive matches within two days of the event.
All events so far have been held at Como's, including their first full event for gay men on April 29. Barris said the ambiance created by the upstairs area at the restaurants is one of the best parts of the service – including candlelit tables and a secluded spot free of outside chatter. "The atmosphere itself makes it very special, as opposed to a bar setting or some of the other settings that might not be as intimate," Barris said.
More intimate than, say, your e-mail inbox.
Though online dating has become a haven for many in the LGBT community, and bars a longtime staple, Barris maintains that speed dating offers the best of both worlds: An easy, face-to-face meeting with none of the pressure of bars, but none of the ambiguity of the Internet.
"It's a good way for people who maybe don't have good social skills or maybe are kind of shy to be able to meet someone that maybe they wouldn't want to approach on the Internet," Barris said. "Same thing goes for the bar…the nice thing about this is that everybody has an opportunity that they wouldn't have online dating or at the bar."
"There's no pressure," he added. "It's stress free."
And for a good cause. Barris promises that Gay Match Speed Dating will give a portion of all of their proceeds to Higher Ground, a local non-profit that provides support to metro Detroiters with HIV/AIDS.
For anyone still skeptical, Barris offers this: While he and many of his friends have tried speed dating before, Gay Match Speed Dating is different because it's run by gay men, for gays and lesbians, offering an experience that's specifically geared toward the LGBT community. "Since my friend and I happen to be gay, we're catering to the gay community," Barris explained. "Whether it's men or women, we think we can do a better job as far as that. There are other services out there that, every so often, do events for gays and lesbians, but we're more consistent. That's our niche and we can do a better job."
Lesbian Speed Dating
7 p.m. May 13
Como's Restaurant and Pizzeria, 22812 Woodward Ave., Ferndale
http://www.gaymatchspeeddating.com
