Hogan and Homo on the Prairie

Clare, Mich. doesn't get much action. Or daughters of retired pro wrestlers. But during the 10 p.m. July 5 episode of VH1's "Brooke Knows Best," the quaint farming area near Central Michigan University will gain fame as actress/singer Brooke Hogan goes home – and delivers a calf – with her bud Glenn Douglas Packard.
When the episode airs Sunday, the Clare native's family won't throw a premiere party. Heck, they might not even watch it.
"That's the thing about my family," Glenn starts, "they're not a Hollywood family. Mom and dad will sit at home at the TV and maybe TiVo it, maybe watch it, but they might miss it and fall asleep and watch it the next day. Or a week later."
But Brooke Hogan, on a farm, out of her element – who can wait a week?
Packard, who grew up in Clare before moving to New York City (he now lives in Miami) to pursue his dream of being a choreographer, reports that she didn't do too shabby. And a whole lot better than his family initially thought: "They were thinking she would be a little squeamish and a little scared of a lot of the things you would see on the farm."
Like cow poo? Takes a real trooper to deal with that stench – a real trooper like Brooke, who pulled a friggin' calf. A calf! From a cow! But that didn't quench her doc-playing duties. She also performed an artificial insemination on one.
"I won't even do that – ew," Packard's mom, Paulette, cracks up.
Birthing a baby moo-er was nothing to Brooke, who's crazy for critters. But the weather? You try living in Orlando and visiting Michigan in the dead of winter, during which "Welcome to Michiglenn" (clever, VH1!) was filmed. Before the weeklong shoot, Glenn and Brooke, who've been friends for eight years, visited for the holidays and rode Mother Goose – the float – during Detroit's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Dinner followed, and the family awed over her, except Paulette, who's met her and her parents before. And then they ate a hearty meal at grandma's – something, Glenn says, Brooke's not accustomed to back home.
"It was hard on her," Glenn says of seeing his close-knit family, "because of all the things her family's going through." (Presumably her reason for denying our press request for this article.)
Clare might've been the escapism she needed, in regard to family and paparazzi hounds (they'd never drive on a dirt road, Glenn notes). "I think a celebrity, if they need to hide out, knows where to go," laughs Glenn.
While in Clare, mom reports that the three – the third roomie on the show is Ashley Menendez, a farm girl at heart who was determined to swoon a hot farmer – all shared a room. Mom didn't care; Glenn's gay. And he has a boyfriend, Daniel Miagany, who he brings home to the family during the Michigan episode.
When Paulette found out Glenn was gay, she was shocked along with the rest of the family, some of whom – a niece, nephews and his granny – found out just before the first season of "Brooke Knows Best." There were signs, she says, but they didn't hit her until after he came out. She figured his struggles were just typical teen issues. It was more than that.
"I didn't know why I was different from other kids," he says, "especially in a small town and community where you don't have an outlet. They saw me going through struggles, but they weren't aware of what (kind)."
Almost marrying a woman might've thrown them, but now Paulette actually feels closer to her son than she ever did. It wasn't always that way, especially when Glenn kept his sexuality on the down-low. But now that Paulette – and nephews, grandma, all of Clare and the rest of reality TV-obsessed America – knows, it's no biggie. All have been supportive, he says.
"I raised him to be independent and self-sufficient, and I want him to be happy most of all," Paulette assures. "And necessarily what makes me happy doesn't make him happy, and I want him to be happy."
Glenn chimes in: "That's a good answer."
Brooke might know best – but mom knows better.