Creep of the Week: Mark Sanford

Congratulations South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford on becoming the latest Republican "defender" of marriage to be caught getting some on the side. How's it feel to be a walking cliche?
Well, if we're to judge from the press conference he held to announce his infidelity, it feels very, um, awkward. Sanford rambled on and on and apologized to his wife, four sons, and every other person he has ever seen or heard of. Just when you thought he was about to go in for the big reveal, he'd say something like, "Let me throw one more apology out here and that is to people of faith across South Carolina or for that matter across the nation."
Aww hey, Sanford's got an apology shout out! What does he think this is, MTV? And why must he apologize to the faithful? Let's let him explain: "Because I think one of the big disappointments when – and believe it or not, I've been a person of faith all my life – if somebody falls within the fellowship of believers or the walk of faith, I think it makes it that much harder for believers to say well where does that person come from or for nonbelievers to say where indeed was that person coming from."
Got it? No? Sanford is saying he's not God, because I guess some folks were confused. Or something. In other words, don't let Sanford's traveling penis shake your faith in the Lord.
"There are moral absolutes, and God's law is there to protect you from yourself. And there are consequences if you breech that," he said. "This press conference is a confidence."
That's right. The press conference was arranged by God Himself in lieu of smiting Sanford with boils or turning him into a pillar of salt. Fierce! With a God like that, who needs Satan?
"So the bottom line is this," Sanford said, finally getting to the money shot. "I've been unfaithful to my wife. I developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina. It began very innocently as I suspect many of these things do, in just a casual e-mail back and forth in advice on one's life there and advice here, but here recently this last year developed into something much more than that."
He then wistfully reminisces about counseling his "friend" about why she ought to "get back with her husband for the sake of her two boys. That not only was it part of God's law, but ultimately those two boys would be better off for it." Oh, the irony!
"Oddly enough I spent the last five days crying in Argentina," he said, adding, "It won't be easy, you'll think it strange when I try to explain how I feel, that I still need your love after all I have done."
Keep in mind, this is a man who a few weeks ago rejected the idea that Republicans should cool it with their anti-gay marriage stance. A man who doesn't think gay people should be allowed to adopt. A man who some Republicans were whispering could become the next President of the United States.
As of press time, Sanford has no intention of resigning as governor. Because, hey, it's not like he was seeing an Argentinean dude.