By Bridgette M. Redman
DETROIT –
Bob Schimmel was a grandfather when he came out to his wife. They were driving home from a marathon in Traverse City when he told her that he needed to talk to her about something. It was a anxiety-filled moment he had rehearsed in his head for months.
"I told her I had to tell her something. She asked what it was and I said, 'I'm gay,'" Schimmel said. "And she said, 'Well, I knew that.' After a few moments of quiet she asked, 'Where do you want to stop and eat?' That's all there was to it."
The Matrix Theatre Company, as part of its presentation of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," knows that the issue of coming out after marriage is a tricky one – which is why they are tackling it head-on. After panel discussions about self-medicating with alcohol and the treatment of women in Tennessee Williams' plays, they're closing the run with an exploration of coming out after marriage on Nov. 13.
"There are a lot of stereotypes about the whole coming out process," said Matrix Executive Director Shaun Nethercott. "There is a lot of stereotypes about what it is to be a homosexual. This was a way to start opening up the conversation. There is not one single pathway through this experience. There's not one single way people come to understand who they are in this world."
One of the main story lines in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" is the relationship that the son Britt had with his best friend Skipper, who recently committed suicide. His wife Maggie resented the relationship between them and tried to sabotage it.
Nethercott said the play perfectly explores issues that continue to be powerful today – making the play a strong choice for their heritage series which explores classic works.
"We do mostly original works, but we really want to experience the best in plays. Tennessee Williams is one of the great, great American playwrights," said Nethercott. "It was particularly interesting to us because 60 years later, we're still dealing with issues of homophobia. People are having a difficult time coming out to themselves, to their families, and talking about this reality. These are issues that are still wreaking havoc in families' lives."
The talk-back will take place immediately after Saturday's performance. It features three gay men who came out after they were married and is moderated by Donald V. Calamia of Between the Lines and Encore Michigan. Nethercott said they looked for a diversity in generations and length of time since the person has come out. Schimmel is one of the three panelists.
Schimmel, who is now 80, said his life couldn't have been better – his wife and children were all immediately accepting of his coming out. He and his wife chose to stay together and did so until she died three years ago – after 50 years of marriage.
"We stayed together because we were very good friends," said Schimmel. "She loved my lover probably better than I did. She'd have him over for dinner every night and we'd go on trips together. It was a very nice relationship with all of us, and there was never a problem."
