By Ed Sikov
“Whatcha makin’, hot stuff?” I was at the kitchen island mixing an experimental drink; I felt the hand slip around my stomach and jumped slightly before I heard the coo in my ear. Dan never calls me “hot stuff,” so I knew it wasn’t him. But whose hand was suddenly tweaking my right nipple?
“Chipper! You dog!” I gave a slight shiver and felt a certain stirring.
“Seriously, tiger,” Chipper whispered. “Can I try it?”
“My nipple or my drink?” I inquired in a lewd tone. Chipper made a growling noise and started to work on a hickey on my neck. I shook him off, finished making the cocktail and handed it to him. Wasting no time, he took a sizeable gulp.
“Yikes!” he said. “That’s strong! Strong but good! What’s it called?”
“Loooo-cyyyyy?!” was my response.
“Good guess, but no. Not ‘The Ethel.’ Close, though.”
“Certainly not ‘The Fred.’ Not even you would name a drink ‘The Fred.'”
“Indeed not,” I sniffed. “Not ‘The Fred.'”
“Right!” I cried. “You win the prize,” at which point I whirled around and grabbed his nuts. Of course that was precisely the moment for Dan to make his pointless entrance.
“I’m not jealous. You can have him,” he said to Chipper as he continued past the kitchen and into the living room. There is little more deflating than having one’s husband offer you to the nearest mouth.
Chipper and I moved away from each other quickly; our illicit fondling had been killed before it got interesting.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s a Gin Rickey. What do you think?”
“It’s fabulous!” Chipper enthused. “What’s in it?”
“Gin and lime juice and seltzer and that’s all, except for the ice.”
“Wait a minute,” Chipper said. “I thought that was a Collins.”
“Good catch, shortstop!” I said. “A Rickey is a Collins without sugar and with lime juice instead of lemon. But like a Collins, a Rickey can be made with….”
“… various kinds of liquors.” Dan was finishing my sentence for me. “Rum, bourbon, even Scotch.”
“Very good,” I said with a certain edge to my voice. “Would you like me to throw one in your face?”
“No, thank you, darling dearest,” Dan coolly replied. “Just make me a standard Gin Rickey, and don’t be stingy with the gin.” The nerve of some people!
The Gin Rickey
3 Tbsp. Beefeater gin
2 Tbsp. lime juice, either bottled or fresh (1 lime’s worth, if the lime is juicy)
Lime wedge garnish (optional)
Put some ice in a highball glass (a tumbler); add the gin, juice and seltzer in that order. That’s all, folks!