Creep of the Week
Did you hear the news? It’s now okay to be a gay Boy Scout. But you still can’t be a gay Man Scout. Because as we all know, the second a gay male turns 18 he turns from a child into a child predator. At least on the planet inhabited by the anti-gay right.
On May 23, the Boy Scouts of America’s National Council voted to end the long-standing ban on gay Scouts, but to keep the ban on gay Troop leaders in place.
Gay rights folks are only half impressed. Unsurprisingly, the anti-gay right is going berserk.
A lot of nastiness erupted on Twitter after the announcement.
Peter LaBarbera, founder and president of the ironically named Americans for Truth about Homosexuality, sputtered, “Boy Scouts dug own grave,” and warned of an anti-gay splinter group.
Liberty Counsel’s Matt Barber Tweeted, “Boy Scouts of America: Born February 8, 1910 | Died, May 23, 2013 #RIP,” as if death notices don’t deserve at least a phone call.
But by far the nastiest comments came from the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer.
“BSA now stands for Boy Sodomizers of America, because that’s what will happen,” Fischer Tweeted. “Mark my words.”
Get it? Because gays are all about the butt sex and letting gay kids be Boy Scouts, instead of ostracizing them like God intended, means that the entire organization is basically going to be a big rape party. No longer will Boy Scouts make pinewood derby cars or learn how to build campfires. The BSA in Fischer’s twisted fantasy is all anal-penetration all the time. “Mark my words” is a nice touch, too. As if Fischer is gleefully waiting to be proven right, as if this is actually what he wants to see happen.
But perhaps Fischer is just speaking out of unhinged anger after being proven wrong.
“[T]he ban on homosexual Scout masters and homosexual participants, that ban is going to be upheld. It’s going to be defended,” Fischer ranted on Focal Point, his radio show, in February. “It’s the end of the game. This is game over. This is the Super Bowl and the good guys have won. Make no mistake about this, this is a huge win for the pro-family movement; it is a big, big, big setback for Big Gay.”
Granted, you could say he was half right since, after all, gay grown-ups are still banned, but Fischer was adamant that BSA would never happen. He had no contingency plan. It never dawned on him that BSA would adopt a more humane policy toward gays of any age.
Of course, now that they’ve done it, Fischer is sure he knows why. He Tweeted,
“Boy Scouts have sold their soul for a mess of corporate pottage. They will wind up with lots of money and no scouts.”
That’s right. It’s all about the Benjamins. Just a bunch of greedy bastards in neckerchiefs up in the BSA. No doubt money is going to start pouring in now that the queers are here. And with cash in hand, the gay BSA take-over will be complete. Before you know it Dan Savage will get a fleur-de-lis tattoo on his forehead and Elton John will perform, “Can You Feel the Cubs Tonight” at the next National Scout Jamboree.
Or, in all likelihood, nothing much will happen except some gay kids who previously felt excluded may join. Some kids who are freaked out (or, more likely, whose parents are freaked out) may quit. And gay kids who are already members will take comfort in knowing that an organization that requires a serious level of dedication doesn’t officially forsake them.
Mark my words.