Parting Glances
You're never too old to cross dress. At 70 something-or-other I'm tempted, if only I could find an outfit that won't make me look too matronly or a tad too senile, sandals-and-mascara fashionista.
I'd like a dreamy ensemble that's waist alluringly comfortable - pattern sophisticated smart - perhaps reflective of my art - that I stylishly, yet visually believable, might wear while sitting on my studio front porch waving to the WSU jocks who jog by.
Better still some designer label creation I could be seen in while attending gallery openings to compliment - or, why not? - compete with the exhibition: or, a hand-tailored Virgin Mary Halo Blue suit to wear while tastefully taking communion at Lent or Christmas, the Feast of the Circumcision.
I realize my admission may alienate a few Parting Glances readers who look to me as a butch senior icon of primarily macho predilections, but I seem to be experiencing a very, very late male climacteric (aka men-on-pause) transition, not to be confused with the proverbial second-, third-, or fourth childhood mental regression.
Just for the record, I'm not alone in this onset of late-in-life cross-dressing, petticoated polymorphous desires. The October issue of STAR magazine, the tell-all, predominantly heterosexual, gossip glossy, unravels and spills the glamorous strand of faux pearls on Olympic Decathlon Gold Medal Athlete Bruce Jenner.
After his spectacular decathlon performance in Montreal, Bruce Jenner was touted by a glowing media as "the ideal man." In 1982, he was featured on the cover of Playgirl, sporting a hairy chest. (An avid reader of Playgirl, I vividly remember that issue and the bedroom sports fantasies it engendered in me.)
Jenner, 63, twice married, currently split from wife Kris, father of sons, has a few decades into a phenomenal sports and celebrity career admitted that he is a cross- dresser with, according to his ex - perhaps out of her understandable pique and/or jealousy - more dresses and high heels in his closet than hers.
(Cost surely is not a factor. They're both fabulously wealthy. Would that I were. Botoxing, alas, is presently beyond my beaded pocket book. And, Heaven forfend: I certainly don't want to be a Joan Rivers lookalike. Or, Eleanor Roosevelt.)
The STAR expose is accompanied by several pictures of our Brucie in transition. Hunk, as in 1976, when he earned his Gold Medal in Montreal; decades later to gradually delicate, plucked eyebrows, middle-age, would-be starlet in appearance. 2012 photo caption: "In the family's holiday photo, Bruce wore earrings and lipstick!"
STAR quotes a family insider: "Bruce has a feminine side. He likes growing his hair out, loves getting manicures and pedicures and won't leave home without his diamond earrings. And he's obsessed with plucking his eyebrows!"
This just in! Today's Dear Abby column deals with a husband who likes to cross-dress but - oh, God, what's a woman-wanna-be to do? - got caught by nosey neighbors. Advises Abby, because it's October, say it's for a costume party.
Abby also sensibly tells Dear Caught to get in touch with the Society for the Second Self, an organization that offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers and their spouses. Encourages Abby, "The Society promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency."
Speaking of decency. When I go trick or treating this Halloween, should I shave my legs just for the hell of it? Below and above the knees?
