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Mikey Rox’s Ultimate Guide To Gay Gift Giving

By |2013-11-21T09:00:00-05:00November 21st, 2013|Guides, Holiday Gift Guide|

What do you get a gay who has everything? Take your pick from these ideas, perfect for LGBT homebodies, adventurers, activists and more.

RoBo 3D Printer

Now that 3D printers are commercially available at a relatively affordable price, this Christmas is the perfect time to snatch one up for the hot nerd in your life. One of the sleekest models on the market, the RoBo Personal 3D Printer allows users to transfer their digital imagination from the computer and bring it to life in a tangible and touchable real-world context. With this incredible technological innovation, users can create professional-quality prototypes, models, objects and more with features that include quality additive manufacturing at 100 micron-layer resolution, a build volume of 720 cubic inches, and the ability to print with multiple materials. Who knows – hot nerd might just invent the next big thing; next to this, of course. ($599-$699;

Spirit of the Glen

Scotch connoisseurs engage in a three-pronged process – swirling, sniffing, and sipping – before savoring their single malts, and now they can add spritzing to the routine with HYLNDS Spirit of the Glen, a new fragrance from perfumer David Moltz and The Glenlivet. With notes of pear and pineapple weed that culminate in waves of vanilla-infused wood, Spirit of the Glen captures the rich, lingering taste of the legendary whisky maker’s 18-year-old – much like your own days of yore. ($180;

Stache Spoons

Movember may be over, but a good moustache never goes out of style. Nobody knows that better than Treehouse Illustrator, a too-hip-for-your-upper-lip Etsy shop offerings sets of five wooden spoons featuring various types of iconic ‘staches that’ll add a little whimsy to whatever you’re whipping up. Set includes one bandwagon moustache Beachwood spoon and four wooden spoons with mini-moustaches. ($25;

Cuipo Tees

You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of Greenpeace to help save the world’s dwindling rainforests. This year, give the gift of fresh air via fresh fashion with Cuipo tees, one adorable design of which features a cuddly gorilla with the slogan “I Love Trees.” Cuipo’s preservation efforts are centered on the belief that the best way to stop deforestation is to buy rainforest and preserve it, which is exactly what they do. With revenue from numerous product lines and partnerships, the company purchases large parcels of land for permanent preservation; for every shirt sold, one square meter of rainforest is saved. ($28;

Grandma’s Chicken Soup

‘Tis the season for the sniffles, but you can turn a holiday sick day into a holiday smile day with gift packages from Grandma’s Chicken Soup. The anchor of this homegrown gift shop is, of course, Grandma’s hearty chicken soup with a soul-soothing broth and a generous portion of chicken chunks and fresh veggies, but there are many other oh-happy-day options from which to choose, including chocolate-chip cookies, mac and cheese, fresh Challah bread, gourmet caramels, and brownies, along with a wide selection of other get-well goodies. ($29.95-$102.95;

ShaveTech Cordless Rechargeable USB Travel Shaver

Keeping well groomed while traveling can be a hassle: You either have to pack your bulky electric razor from home, or spend your hard-earned vacation time lathering up and shaving the old-fashioned way. The jet-setting men in your life can put both those scenarios to bed, however, with the ShaveTech Cordless Rechargeable USB Travel Shaver, an innovative electric razor that packs comfortably in a dopp kit to save time and space while globetrotting. Available in two sleek colors – lustrous black and brushed silver – ShaveTech includes a cleaning brush and carrying pouch, and its contemporary design is all the more complemented by its ability to charge via any USB port. ($39.99;

Kirkland Garden Tool Tote Set

Trade in those sugarplums for visions of blooming buds with Kirkland’s Garden Tool Tote Set. Ideal for beginning gardeners, this four-piece set includes a digging trowel, planting trowel and cultivator packed neatly in a navy blue tote perfect for gifting and storing. Each tool features handsome wooden handles, and the tote includes sturdy handles for portability. Pair this with a few packets of the recipient’s favorite vegetable and flower seeds for complete gift ripe with thoughtfulness. ($24.99;

Family Feud Home Game

Before dinner-table tensions reach their peak and wigs start poppin’ off, diffuse the situation with a rousing game of Family Feud 4th Edition from Endless Games. Survey Says: Everybody’s having fun with no bail money required. ($19.99;

Handmade Gifts from Hatch

Don’t know what to buy that someone special who has just about everything? Hatch (formerly Makeably) might have what you’re looking for in its online shop that pairs talented artisans with thoughtful gift givers to create custom items for almost any occasion. There are several categories from which to choose (Home, Art, Jewelry and Apparel), and most everything in store is a standout – like the custom vintage globes from artist Wendy Gold ($200) or the one-of-a-kind recycled license plate maps of the United States by Design Turnpike ($2,360), for instance. Whatever you choose, rest assured that these gifts will quickly become prized possessions. (Prices vary;

Davidson’s Teas & Donsuemor Cookies

Invited to a holiday brunch? Show up with a gift bag filled with Davidson’s Holiday Tea Collection – which includes 10 bags each of Christmas Tea, Herbal Seasons, Herbal Christmas and Mulling Spices – along with a variety pack of moist gourmet Madeleines from Donsuemor ($30), and you’re sure to get the best seat in the house. ($15.95-$30; and

Big Feet PJs

Cuddle time gets all the more cuddlier in Big Feet PJs, nostalgic flannel, fleece and jersey-knit footed pajamas for adults. Slip into these full-body jammies (hooded versions are available), press play on your favorite holiday flick and bask in the closeness that winter weather provides. When the movie is over and you’re feelin’ good and frisky, the thoughtful drop seat in the back helps get the bedroom party started. ($39.99-$49.99;

Burnt Impressions Jesus Toaster

Rise and shine with the Reason for the Season – Christ Almighty – this Christmas morning. This kitschy Messiah toaster from Burnt Impressions literally scorches the image of Jesus onto your daily bread, which will make this campy offering from the Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation the talk of the table when breakfast is served. ($29.95;

Argoz Socks

Socks are the new pocket squares when it comes to splashy accessorizing, and Argoz has a style for every personality. But these dapper duos are more than argyle socks on steroids: they’re made in America, there’s a pair for every occasion, and an option to create custom pairs relieves the stress of showing up to a party with the same flashy ankles as anybody else. To add a little more fun to the otherwise dreaded gift of another pair of foot covers, Argoz names each style: Clever (and suggestive) titles include “Get Lucky,” “After Midnight” and “Afternoon Delight.” ($10-$24;

Timber Tray

Have a hard time prying lover boy’s phone from his hands when you’re in bed? That feat might be better accomplished with Timber Tray from Tinsel & Timber, a stylish wooden tray crafted from gorgeous reclaimed American walnut (sourced from a barn in Illinois) or Douglas fir (sourced from a house demolition in Detroit) that includes a snug docking station for smartphones and a slightly sloped bowl to place jewelry, keys and other pocket paraphernalia at the end of the day. Timber Tray is available for iPhone 4/4S/5/5S and Samsung Galaxy S3/S4. ($68;

BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer

With all the free-flowing booze that accompanies the holiday season, it’s better to be safe than sorry – and the BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer lets you know when you’ve had one too many. This police-grade breathalyzer syncs to an accompanying app on your smartphone via Bluetooth capability letting you know when you’re good to go or when you should just say no. Smart users will sober up before hitting the road, of course, but not before sharing the results of their festive binging habits with the device’s social-media compatibility – which is infinitely much more fun than drunk dialing your ex. ($149.99;

Soggy Doggy Super Shammy

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – unless that man has a dog; doggy daddies are serious about their doting, which means you’ll only win more points if you show up on his doorstep with a present for his pooch. Practical and affordable, the Soggy Doggy Super Shammy is an ultra-soft and super absorbent microfiber shammy that absorbs five times more water and dirt than a typical cotton towel after bath time or an afternoon at the beach. Machine washable and dryer friendly, the shammy comes in a bevy of colors, including Chocolate, Beige and Marine Blue. Bundle it with the similarly styled Soggy Doggy Doormat for a complete canine-lovers’ package. ($19.99;

What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar? Game

What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar? – a new board game from All Things Equal – might be a loaded question considering the company you keep, but it’s sure to provide hours of indoor fun on those frigid winter nights. Three hundred head-to-head challenges require quick thinking, creativity and a willingness to laugh at yourself and others as players complete hilarious tasks and answer provocative trivia questions in order to win the six Klondike bar flavors. Of course, you can deviate from the G-rated rules to make it more R, but make sure the prudes are fast asleep first. ($24.99;

Man Crates

While “The Golden Girls” box set is considered the Holy Grail of Christmas gifts by many gays, some of the more masculine Marys among us might prefer a present with a bit more substance. Enter Man Crates, rugged wooden boxes stuffed to the edges with a bevy of butch goodies that can only be enjoyed after cracking open the case with a crowbar; cue the gleeful grunting. Man Crates are available for all types of personalities, including meat eaters, booze lovers, gamers, zombie killers, sports fans, and more. ($19.99-$179.99;


Reyka Vodka

Anyone who’s ever been to Iceland will tell you it’s much like visiting the moon (the landscape is so similar, in fact, that NASA once trained astronauts there), so it should come as no surprise that the island’s native vodka, Reyka, is out of this world. Handcrafted in the town of Borgarnes (known for some of the cleanest air on earth), Reyka is distilled with glacier spring water and undergoes a lava-rock filtration process to obtain its trademark crisp, clean taste. Great as a gift for someone else, but even better in your own glass. ($29.95;

Reyka Borealis

1 part Reyka Vodka
2 parts cranberry juice

Pour Reyka over ice and add cranberry juice. Garnish with a lime.

Olmeca Altos Plata Tequila

Round up your crew for a rousing rendition of “Feliz Navidad” made even livelier with the slightly citric, sweet punch of Olmeca Altos Plata. Herbal notes of cooked agave permeate this beautifully bottled tequila (enhanced only with a bow around it) that delivers a fruity and long-lasting aftertaste.

Parry Punch
1 1/2 parts Olmeca Altos Reposado
1 part ginger liqueur
3/4 part fresh lime juice
1/2 part simple syrup
Top with sparkling water

In a mixing tin, combine all ingredients except sparkling water and shake. Strain into a cocktail glass and top with sparkling water. Garnish with a lemon peel.

Pernod Absinthe Original Recipe

Pernod Absinthe has been at the forefront of the American absinthe movement since the United States lifted the ban on the storied spirit in 2007. And with the re-launch of the brand’s Original Recipe, formulated over a two-year period from what remained of centuries-old records, it’s poised to reclaim its rightful place as the most authentic and original absinthe on the market. Flavored with a carefully balanced bouquet of herbs – including hyssop, Pontique wormwood, fennel and star anise – prepare for Pernod Absinthe Original Recipe to turn your silent night into a night to remember. ($68;

Crystal Head Vodka

If Jack Skellington had to pick just one poison, Crystal Head Vodka would be at the top of his “Nightmare Before Christmas” list. Co-created by actor Dan Akroyd, this naturally smooth entry into the oversaturated vodka category is processed and distilled four times to produce a neutral grain spirit at 95-percent alcohol by volume; reduced with Newfoundland glacial water; then filtered seven times, three of which are through Herkimer diamonds. Which are still a girly-boy’s best friend. ($53.99;

Grand Marnier Raspberry Peach

Turn up the swank factor on this year’s New Year’s Eve festivities with Grand Marnier Raspberry Peach, the second annual limited release of the Grand Marnier Signature Collection Series, from the House of Marnier Lapostolle. A combination of succulent European raspberries and rare red peaches from Ardèche in the South of France, these complementary flavors are blended with the famous Grand Marnier orange essence and the same blend of premium quality Cognacs – sourced from the best crus of the Cognac region and aged in French oak barrels – used to craft the original Grand Marnier Cordon Rouge. If you can’t ball like a celebrity on the club circuit, you can certainly sip like one at home. ($39.99;

GM Raspberry Peach 75

1 oz Grand Marnier Raspberry Peach
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
Moet & Chandon Champagne
Lemon twist

Combine all ingredients except the champagne in a shaker and shake. Pour into a flute and top with champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Crave Chocolate Truffle Liqueur

Chocoholics can add a little kick to their homemade hot cocoa this winter with John Dekuyper & Sons Crave Chocolate Truffle Liqueur, a smooth, velvety, rich new addition to the Crave line of premium liqueurs. The indulgence taste of chocolate truffles is combined with a smidge of vanilla and caramel for a sipping experience that’ll make your Swiss Miss adult with a single splash. ($17.99;

About the Author:

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He splits his time between homes in New York City and the Jersey Shore with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.
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