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I did not watch the 56th Annual Grammy Awards. For one thing, I don’t give a shit. For another thing, I’m too old to stay up that late.
But I did watch a clip online of the en masse wedding during Macklemore & Ryan Lewis performing “Same Love” because anything that gets right-wing ideologues so worked up is something I’ve gotta see.
I thought it was good. Macklemore’s performance was impressive even though I find the song to be heavy-handed though well intentioned, and he looked especially handsome (no hetero) even if he did wear a bolo tie as a nod to the lesbians. And, as an added bonus, I now know what Ryan Lewis looks like though still not what he does. When Queen Latifah pronounced the 33 couples (though I have to ask, why not 56?) married, okay I admit it, I got choked up.
And then Madonna hobbled out on the stage dressed as a cowgirl. And I thought, “Woah. I didn’t realize that Madonna couldn’t walk without a cane now.” And then she did her best Lucinda Williams impersonation, bless her heart.
But man, by the reactions of the right-wingers on the Internets you would have thought that the whole performance had been a bunch of sweaty homos sexing each other on the stage while waving, “Fags hate God” banners.
Fox News & Commentary host Todd Starnes is a shining example of what happens when the right begins to realize they’re losing the fight against equality.
On Sunday, Jan. 26 Starnes basically live-tweeted the Grammys making hilarious jokes like, “I hope Pink didn’t eat chili tonight” and “Is Taylor Swift having a seizure?”
But he also warned, “Get ready for CBS to shove tolerance and diversity down our throats tonight” and “#grammys are on — hide your children.” Because gays.
“Here it comes – the Grammys are mocking marriage,” he wrote, probably while perched on the edge of his seat unable to look away from the very thing he calls, simply, “Sick,” a couple Tweets later.
Starnes didn’t just see the Grammy performance as distasteful, he saw it as downright hateful and anti-Christian.
“The Grammys mock God, marginalize the Bible. #hate #intolerance,” he Tweeted, offering hashtags of his own personal feelings about gays.
“Remember when The Grammys was about music – and not cramming a social agenda down our throats?” he asked. Admittedly, I do not. It is difficult to buy the claim that an awards show that handed shiny statues to groups like Hootie and the Blowfish, the Baha Men, and Creed is “about music.”
In case you were wondering what Starnes thought of the “Same Love” performance he writes, “Macklemore launches a hate-filled, bigoted, intolerant diatribe against Christians.”
Give me a break. In case you are unfamiliar with the song, Macklemore raps, “The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision and you can be cured with some treatment and religion.” He continues, “And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago.”
This hardly seems akin to the anti-gay vitriol spewed constantly from so-called Christians. I think it speaks volumes that Starnes takes such offense to being reminded that God loves everybody, not just the straight folks.
Starnes also Tweeted, “I’ve never seen such a display of intolerance, bigotry and hatred. #Grammys #antichristian”
Assuming Starnes wasn’t physically at the Grammys I think we can safely add the words “on TV” to the end of his claim that he has never seen “such a display of intolerance, bigotry and hatred” before, thereby broadening the list of atrocities he has to be willfully ignoring here.
If ignorance really is bliss, then Starnes must be one hell of a happy guy.