Creep of the Week: Ted Cruz

By | 2014-02-20T09:00:00-04:00 February 20th, 2014|Creep of the Week, Opinions|

America is a tough place for sensitive men. Crying is forbidden unless a guy wants to be seen as some kind of fag. But there are a few select places where guys can get a pass if they shed a few tears. Weddings, for example. Everybody cries at weddings: men, women, babies (although the babies usually cry because, well, that’s what babies do and they’d do it anywhere regardless of whether or not everlasting love and commitment were being promised between two people. Still).
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is no exception. He’s not afraid to declare publically that he “weeps” at weddings. And that would be totally commendable if those were happy tears, but the weeping Cruz is copping to is a result of his sadness that gay couples are finally starting to get treated like equals in this country.
In a Feb. 13 interview with professional homophobe Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, Cruz expressed his dismay that marriage equality has been winning over and over again in the courts.
“Our heart weeps for the damage to traditional marriage that has been done,” he told Perkins.
First I’d like to make note of Cruz’s use of “our heart,” rather than “our hearts” or even “my heart.” It’s a subtle slip, but it allows a glimpse into the little known fact that Tea Partiers like Cruz share one heart between them. After all, one doesn’t have to be well-versed in Tea Party policies to see that their ideology really requires no heart at all.
Secondly, the fact that Cruz is crying over the “damage” same-sex couples have done to the institution of marriage, damage that exists only in Cruz’s anti-gay fantasies, is indicative of the fact that Cruz not only lacks a heart, but a brain as well.
Cruz then goes on to regale Perkins with anti-marriage equality talking points.
“You and I both know that the best environment for a child to be raised in is a loving home with a mother and father and a strong marriage that is the foundation for that family, for the community, for the church,” Cruz says.
And he’s right, to a point. The best environment for children is, in deed, a loving home with two parents. But no credible research has shown that those parents have to be of the opposite sex or that the children of same-sex parents are harmed in any way.
Additionally, I agree with Cruz that strong marriages play an important foundational role in society. But again, marriage doesn’t depend on one penis and one vagina for strength.
“We’re seeing that marriage is under attack,” Cruz continues. “We need to stand up, I believe, and defend traditional marriage and especially do everything we can to prevent the federal government from forcing a different definition of marriage that’s contrary to the views of the citizens of each state.”
And Cruz has just the plan to keep those dastardly homos from getting their cooties all over marriage. On the day before Valentine’s Day for fucksake, Cruz introduced the State Marriage Defense Act, which seeks to invalidate the federal recognition of same-sex marriages if those couples dare cross state lines into a state that bans their unions.
For example, my wife and I live in Michigan where our marriage is not recognized by the state. But since we were legally married in California, our marriage is recognized by the federal government regardless of where we live. Cruz wants to strip federal recognition of our marriage, essentially unmarrying us simply because our marriage makes him weep.
As my Grandma used to say, “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” And, thankfully, marriage equality is winning this battle, so I don’t expect him to stop crying any time soon.

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