Have you ever read something so stupid that you could feel your brain cells committing suicide as you read it? That's how I feel after reading Gina Loudon's Oct. 19 World Net Daily piece titled "8 Reasons Why Democrats Hate Traditional Marriage."
Loudon, who has a PhD in right-wing idiocy, made an appearance last year on "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart during which correspondent Jason Jones interviewed her about Obamacare, a topic about which she was completely ignorant. "More like Obama Doesn't Care," she said. Interestingly, she lists that appearance in her WND bio, demonstrating an astounding lack of self-awareness.
You also might remember her from a short stint last year on the show "Wife Swap" where she went to live with a polyamorous family. Half way through the taping she declared the situation too weird and quit. That one isn't in her bio.
And according to Loudon, Democrats hate marriage because they want people to be sick poors sucking on the teats of "Big Daddy Government."
Loudon claims that "traditional" marriage is the cure-all for illness in the body and mind, poverty and "bad decision making," things Democrats apparently love. Thus they hate marriage and they express that hatred by wanting to give marriage to homos.
Democrats want people to be ill, you see, because, "When people are healthy, they don't need help from the government," she writes in her infinite wisdom.
And Democrats want people to be mentally ill because "All it takes is one mentally deranged person to act out violently for Democrats to rush to a TV camera to call for more gun control and government surveillance."
Yes, Loudon really is arguing that the Democratic Party's support of marriage equality is all part of a big conspiracy to make people go on shooting sprees so that they can take everybody's guns.
According to Loudon, you've got to have one penis+one vagina marriage because "Men are better at making some decisions than women and vice versa." Women need men to do their retirement planning, she says, and men need women to make them stop eating so many Big Macs. Which is totally not condescending to men or women!
"Democrats flourish when marriage is diminished," she writes. "If Democrats and their allies actively push to destroy marriage, and Republicans can be convinced that they should be neutral on the issue, then Democrats will win this one easily and traditional marriage will be something we will soon read about in history books."
Yes, if there's one thing that's been lacking from Republicans over the years, it's opposition to marriage equality. When will someone stand up to the Homocrats and pry their gay fingers off of marriage's very straight neck?
Support for marriage equality is proof that Democrats hate America, Loudon says.
"There are few things the government can do to make a society safer, healthier and wealthier," she writes. "Promoting traditional marriage is the biggest and easiest one of all."
Anyone who tells you they have an easy solution for this country's safety, health and economic problems probably also wants to show you "one weird trick" that will reduce both your auto insurance rates and your stomach flab.
"Anyone who believes in a stronger America should make it their main issue in upcoming elections to defend and promote traditional marriage," she writes like it's 1999.
Keep in mind, Loudon claims she is not anti-gay. Last year she told The Blaze, "It's really almost laughable, because there are a lot of people in my life who are gay, including my agent, my godmother — several friends," she said.
That's right, "several" gay friends. Laughable, indeed.
