It’s always a good time to celebrate love. Especially on Valentine’s Day, and especially with wild animal sex.
The Detroit Zoo’s “Love Gone Wild” is one of many options for LGBTs looking to do that whole lovey-dovey thing (but mostly looking to see how animals get their freak on). Or there’s always the more traditional getaway experience. Being in a new place is a great way to spark new conversations. Being in a new place is also a great opportunity to test out new sex positions on someone else’s furniture. So here you are: Some suggestions for a romantic excursion. Plus a cute picture of polar bears. You’re welcome.
Bed, breakfast and more
B&Bs are all about the little details, says Beechwood Manor Inn & Cottage owner Scott Garfinkel.
“I offer a full gourmet breakfast, customized and served for our guests,” Garfinkel says of his Saugatuck getaway. “Your innkeeper is the concierge. We can be as helpful as possible, without intruding, whether it’s recommendations, directions or planning their day.”
Sadly, the average innkeeper won’t be knowledgeable about your vacation spot’s crusiest bathhouse or where you can find a quality strap-on. So, you might have do your own Google-Fu there. Although, if you need a yummy restaurant, stuff to do or directions to the closest dispensary, they’ve got you covered. For more information, visit beechwoodmanorinn.com.
Alternatively, Bellaire Bed & Breakfast offers a quiet, cozy getaway for a reasonable price. With nine different rooms, Wi-Fi, king-sized beds, fireplaces, private baths and desk space, it has multi-uses: home away from home, love nest and/or sex dungeon. (http://www.bellairebandb.com)
Cheers to love!
Whether you book a room at Beechwood or just wanna do a day visit to Saugatuck, throw back a beer or two or five at Saugatuck Brewing Company. Every Saturday at SBC is hopping; this Valentine’s won’t be any different. During the day, check out the brewery tour, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of their beer, which includes a taste and a souvenir for $7.50.
If you’re starting off your V-Day with some celebratory morning sex, the tour’s 2 p.m. start is obviously too early. To give yourselves time to recover and rehydrate for evening romance, plan to enjoy live jazz courtesy of The Josh Quinlan Trio at 6:30 p.m. in the SBC Pub.
“It’s a great place to come and share a flight of beers,” says Mallory Walters, general manager for SBC. “The lighting is nice and kind of dark; it’s a casual, fun atmosphere for young couples to go.” (saugatuckbrewing.com)
For a wine alternative, Petter Wine Gallery will host a special wine and chocolate tasting all day long. Which means you’ll be all loosey-goosey for a second round of whoopee with the honey. (http://petterwinegallery.com)
Like they do on the Discovery Channel
You know you wanna know how monkeys make sexy time. And so, from 6:30-10 p.m. Feb. 14, the Detroit Zoo is not letting you down. “Love Gone Wild” will look at the mating and dating habits of a variety of species. Each ticket to this animal-sex spectacular includes a champagne welcome, two drink tickets, dinner, dessert and a commemorative gift (probably not what you think). Also, your purchase helps support the non-profit Detroit Zoological Society. This event is 21-and-over only and costs $85 for regular admission and $75 for Detroit Zoological Society members. (http://detroitzoo.org/events/love-gone-wild)
Wetter is better
Sea Life Michigan Aquarium gives lovebirds a chance to experience the wonders of the sea first-hand. With more than 5,000 creatures – including sharks and jellyfish – from 250 species on display, there’s a lot to see for just $23.50.
This brand new addition to Great Lakes Crossing also features an underwater tunnel with a 180-degree view of the sea life, hemisphere-shaped sections of the tank that jut out for a close-up look and, if you bring the kids along, crawl spaces.
Most importantly for people on a V-Day date is the peace and quiet Sea Life offers. Sure, sharks and other underwater creatures aren’t the pinnacle of traditional romance, but since when were we the pinnacle of tradition anyway? (http://www.visitsealife.com)
Oasis Hot Tubs
Even if you can’t really get away this Valentine’s Day, a visit to an Oasis Hot Tub Gardens location can transport you around the world for an hour or two.
All three locations in Grand Rapids, Ann Arbor and Kalamazoo offer a variety of themed, private indoor/outdoor rooms. Visit places like Borneo, Singapore, Casablanca, Fiji and the Kodiak Forest without having to hop on a plane.
In the winter and fall, for maximum comfort and relaxation, their tubs bubble at a steamy hot 102 degrees. While you’re in the room, your only access to the outside world is through an intercom on the wall. So, until at least 1 a.m. (later on certain days), escape the outside world – and the frigid winter temps – with your sweetie. (http://oasishottubs.com)