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Exhibit Shares Stories Of Great Devotion And Loss

Jason A. Michael

Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg of Congregation Shir Tikvah speaks at the opening of the Shower of Stoles exhibit at Affirmations on Sunday, March 1. BTL photo: Jason A. Michael

Picture on Server: S1M_ShowerofStoles.jpg
Caption: Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg of Congregation Shir Tikvah speaks at the opening of the Shower of Stoles exhibit at Affirmations on Sunday, March 1. (BTL photo: Jason A. Michael)

FERNDALE — About 40 people came out Sunday for the opening of the Shower of Stoles exhibit at Affirmations. In its entirety, the Shower of Stoles is a collection of over 1,000 liturgical stoles and other sacred items representing the lives of LGBT people of faith. These religious leaders have served in 32 denominations and faith traditions in six countries on three continents. Each stole contains the story of an LGBT person who is active in the life and leadership of their faith community in some way, such as minister, elder, deacon, teacher, missionary, musician, administrator or active layperson.
The local exhibit, which is sponsored by the Affirmations Faith Alliance, features nearly 100 stoles, including a tallit, or prayer shawl, donated by Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg of Congregation Shir Tikvah in Troy. At the opening, Sleutelberg told the story of growing up as the only Jewish family in the tiny town of Hudson, Michigan.
"My father and my grandparents settled there because they were escaping Nazi Europe and they didn't know at that time whether or not the Holocaust might make its way to America," Sleutelberg explained. "God forbid the allies lost and Hitler won. So they chose to settle in this tiny town as the only Jews and chose to keep their identity a secret."
"I grew up in hiding, so down the line when I had another secret to hide, it was quite easy for me to do," Sleutelberg continued. "I knew how to do that. I knew how to be in the closet. Looking back, I was way too good at it and it was way too easy for me and it ultimately kept me in the closet way longer than I wish it had."
For years, Sleutelberg convinced himself that his sexual orientation was irrelevant to his spiritual path. Sleutelberg said he believed "that it neither made me a better rabbi or a worse rabbi and therefore was irrelevant, and why would I announce or make an issue out of irrelevant topics? I have since changed my mind about that. I think it is relevant. I think it does make me a better rabbi. I think the experience of the closet and the empathy that I had developed because of that pain has given me an extra degree of openness and acceptance of all kinds of differences."
But while Sleutelberg has been able to serve openly in the Reform Judaism movement, many of the stoles in the exhibit tell the stories of those who cannot do the same. The exhibit seeks to lift up those who have been excluded from service because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The collection bears witness to the huge loss of leadership that many churches have brought upon themselves because of their own unjust policies.
Some shawls are sent in by clergy who have lost their position by coming out, while others have been submitted by clergy who remain in the closet. About one-third of all the stoles have been donated anonymously.
"I've taken the opportunity to read a number of these stories on the stoles and many of them just break your heart," said Sleutelberg. "I mean, these are real live human beings with souls, with spirits, with love in their hearts who desire nothing more than to serve God and to be there for people as inspiration. And way too many are being denied opportunity to be themselves fully and completely and share their love of God with others."
"The fact that we can have this display in 2015 is testament to how far we've come," Sleutelberg said in closing. "The fact that we need to have this display in 2015 is evidence of how far we yet need to go."

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