By Keith Orr
In the not-too-distant past, all that spring weddings signified for the LGBT community were jobs: musicians, florists, bakers, caterers. But now, in 37 states, we're finally getting married. To plan for the occassion, or just to learn more about how we got this far, here are a few reads worth checking out.
Forcing The Spring: Inside the Fight For Marriage Equality
by Jo Becker
Penguin Press
Jo Becker's book, "Forcing the Spring: Inside the Fight For Marriage Equality," tells the remarkable story of the legal battle over California's Proposition 8. In the process, she documents the "evolution" of President Obama and the cultural shift which moved marriage equality from a partisan issue to a civil rights issue.
The book reads like a novel, following political consultant Chad Griffin. The election of 2008 was bittersweet; the nation elected its first African-American president, and California passed Proposition 8 in the same night. Proposition 8 barred gay men and lesbians from marrying their same-sex partners. It also set into motion a legal battle which would end up at the Supreme Court.
The cast of characters includes everyone from Hollywood director Dustin Lance Black to conservative attorney Ted Olson. The unlikely pairings of Hollywood and Washington, conservative and liberal, plays out in the court, in the White House and in the media.
Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry
by Evan Wolfson
Simon & Schuster
One of the characters not given a starring role in "Forcing the Spring" is Evan Wolfson – yet without Wolfson the stage would never have been set. Marriage Equality has been Wolfson's life work. His doctoral thesis mapped out a strategy for implementing marriage equality during a time when it was on no one's radar. Even as his work became well-known, most activists were concerned with other rights, specifically discrimination in housing and in the workplace. Wolfson saw marriage as the pathway to those rights. And as it happens, that is the way history seems to be unfolding.
"Why Marriage Matters" was originally published in 2004, but the book is still an excellent outline of the case for marriage equality. He starts at the most basic question – "What is marriage?" – and answers the historical question of why marriage equality matters now. He slices the arguments about procreation, concern for the children, religious objections and whether marriage equality will harm society. About the only chapter that seems dated is the question of civil unions vs. marriage. That alternative has long been scuttled.
The book really shines as he reframes the issue as a civil rights question. He ends with his personal reasons of why the Freedom to Marry matters to him. "Why Marriage Matters" is an eloquent a statement of the promise of America, and the eternal struggle for civil rights and justice.
A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples (17th edition)
Denis Clifford, Emily Doskow, and Frederick Hertz
NOLO
Even as our community hurtles toward marriage equality, we still have to navigate the legal minefields. NOLO has been providing self-help legal advice since 1971. They have been providing legal resources to the LGBT community for nearly that same amount of time. In the 17th edition of the "Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples," the authors help you define and protect your relationship. They cover what the Supreme Court Windsor decision means, as well as the resulting policies from the Department of Justice, IRS and Customs and Immigration.
Learn about domestic partner benefits, buying property together and even planning for each other after death. NOLO has a long and well-deserved reputation for providing accurate, no-nonsense and comprehensible advice. In a fast-changing legal environment, this volume is invaluable.
The Essential Guide to Gay & Lesbian Weddings (3rd edition)
by Tess Ayers and Paul Brown
Experiment Press
Once we have the right to marry, and we protect ourselves and our relationship legally, we still have to navigate the actual wedding. And for gay and lesbian couples, we have all of the challenges of a heterosexual wedding, and a few fresh challenges. How do you answer the relatives who ask, "Why?" How do you pick a venue? Who can perform the wedding? How do you word the invitations? What happens when traditions don't work for you? How do you wrangle a family?
The answer to these questions and more are answered in the third edition of this original gay and lesbian wedding planner. The first edition came out when LGBT weddings represented commitments to each other, but had no legal backing. Each subsequent edition has recognized the latest in legal status, as well as recognizing the changing needs of the wedding itself. Planning the wedding shouldn't be as hard as winning marriage equality. There are several LGBT wedding planners on the market. This is both a classic and an up-to-date volume to help you plan your special day.
