BY AJ TRAGER
BTL Photo: AJ Trager
OAK PARK — Bay Windsor Contreras was just 6 days old when she experienced her first instance of discrimination. While she may not remember it, her mothers — and the nation — will remember the pediatrician who refused to treat Bay on religious grounds.
Jami Contreras and Krista Dornfried-Contreras knew they wanted children very early on in the relationship. They met on the west side of Michigan when Krista took a job near Hart. Jami grew up in the area, and once their relationship was established, they started thinking about raising a family and chose to move to east Michigan where many of Krista's family still resides.
"When I met her I instantly knew that I really liked this girl and thought, 'I really need to get to know her.' She was just different than anyone else I'd have ever met," Jami said describing the first time she saw Krista. They hit it off immediately and knew that they would eventually want kids. "We wanted to make sure that we were 100 percent confident with ourselves and our relationship before we brought a baby into the mix, so we could teach her that confidence," Jami said. So they both stepped completely out of the closet with little to no discrimination from their employers. Then they moved to Detroit.
One night, they both expressed that it was time to start their family but felt like they should get married first. However, same-sex marriage has yet to be made legal in Michigan.
"Even thought it was illegal, we still felt it was important for our family that we be married somewhere to have that protection," Jami said. The couple then got married out of state.
They had a known sperm donor that they found on a website who had previously helped a lesbian couple and wanted to help someone out again. After meeting with him and getting all the necessary paperwork out of the way, they began their journey together as parents.
Like every family that has just had a child, Krista and Jami sought out a pediatrician that would be right for them. A few months before Bay was born they began interviewing pediatricians that they liked, searching for someone with a more holistic approach. Dr. Vesna Roi of Roseville was their third of five appointments and fit the bill for everything they were looking for in a pediatrician from medical philosophy to personality. They set up a prenatal consultation.
"She was very honest with us, I thought, and let us know about her schedule," Krista explained. "We didn't pick up anything from her. But we left there and told her we were happy and she basically said to make an appointment when the baby was born."
Bay was born on a Tuesday and they called a day or two later to schedule an appointment for four days out. They arrived in the office for their scheduled appointment but were met by a different doctor who explained that Dr. Roi had prayed on it and that she would not be able to take Bay on as a patient.
"We looked at each other pretty shocked because we couldn't believe what we were hearing," Jami said. "We thought we were reading it wrong. But then the other doctor started explaining that they could take us on as patients as long as we were loving parents, and she said that she had four other gay families that she sees. Which doesn't make you feel better when they can hand count how many."
They put a lot of time into finding a pediatrician and were extremely surprised that Bay received discrimination on religious grounds based on her parents' relationship.
"What if she has something that only a specialized surgeon can help with, and he decides that he doesn't like gay people so he can't operate on her?" Krista asks, "What if we go to school and the principal has a problem with us being lesbians; can she be refused from that school? If this is allowed, where do you draw the line?"
Religious Freedom Restoration Acts have been circulating around the country. Indiana Gov. Mike Pence just experienced a huge backlash from 100 major corporations and LGBT-allied groups who spoke out in opposition to a newly signed bill which would allow corporations and businesses to discriminate against LGBT individuals due to "strongly held religious beliefs." A similar RFRA bill was introduced in the Michigan legislature at the end of the 2014 legislative term and again in the 2015 term but is currently sitting in a Senate committee.
Gov. Snyder just released a statement saying that he would not sign a Michigan RFRA without changes to the state's civil rights act to include protections for sexual orientation and gender identity, but until the situation arose in Indiana, Snyder was largely silent on the matter. Michigan does not have any legal protections for the LGBT community who can still be denied services or housing based on their identity.
"The RFRA has provided a bigger license to discriminate. And when they wrote the bill last year, opposition to the bill was saying that EMTs could refuse service and the supporters came out saying that that would never happen — that no one in the medical profession would deny anyone based on their sexual orientation — they just wouldn't do that. Well here we were with a 6-day-old and this happened. Thank god it wasn't the surgeon, but it could be. Do we have to wait until one of us, or someone like us, has to die in order for that law to then not go through?" Jami asks.
The couple wants to have one more child and then possibly adopt. But they don't know what that will look like given the political climate around same-sex second-parent adoptions since laws may change after the U.S. Supreme Court rules on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage in June 2015.
"Our goal was never to take down a doctor. Our goal was never to have this vendetta against her and have everyone look at her and go after her. We didn't start this for that," Jami said. "Our whole thing was raising awareness. She made her decision. I hope that she can eventually see that she was wrong and that we can get some education out there for doctors and for the medical field in how to handle LGBT families and how to be a team and work together to get the best care for everyone."
