BY AJ TRAGER
Kate Wade and Eileen Brandies, one of the 323 couples married on March 22, 2014, hiking near Lake Louise in Canada.
ANN ARBOR — "It was the first time of being in love. We call it our grand passion; everybody should have one once in their life," Kate Wade told BTL while recounting the immediate connection she and her wife, Eileen Brandies, had when they first got together.
They met 28 years ago and were married two years later at Metropolitan Community Church. Retired now and planning end of life finances, Brandies was concerned that Wade wouldn't have access to the pension she accumulated from her many years working as a teacher.
Wade and Brandies are one of the 323 couples that got married in March 2014 after Judge Bernard Friedman struck down Michigan's 2004 voter approved same-sex marriage ban. In a last minute decision, that morning they rushed to Oakland County and were married by County Clerk Lisa Brown.
"I didn't expect to feel, after all these years, any different, but there is something really powerful to legitimacy, and when I say 'my wife' now, I don't feel like I'm pretending. It feels real and not just something between us," Wade said. "When we got the official things in the mail, it legitimized it some more."
All legality of their 2014 marriage was up in the air due to the stay that was placed on Friedman's decision by the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals. Thankfully, the ACLU, on behalf of eight couples married on that historic March day, filed a lawsuit against the state seeking legal recognition of the same-sex marriages performed during the legal window provided by the absence of a stay. On Jan. 15, Judge Mark A. Goldsmith found that Michigan's refusal to legally recognize these couples was unconstitutional and the 323 were officially acknowledged by state law.
Pension applications must be filed with the state within 12 months of the marriage. So, Brandies and Wade quickly made their way up to Lansing to speak with a state representative, who said that they were the first same-sex couple in the state to file for adjusting pension disbursements to arrange for survivors' benefits. The state wasn't prepared for the same-sex applications, so their representative sent a note up to her superiors describing the situation to get it rushed through. A few days later, their information arrived in the mail.
"I hate this conversation, because it's about her dying," Wade said with a pause, "but she feels so much safer. She feels safe that I'll be okay. Also, I have all these old lady tests that I'm taking because I had been putting them off (due to insurance issues). And now she is lining them out for me."
A few weeks ago they went to get their taxes done at the Royal Oak Senior Center, and they filed their joint federal and state tax returns for the first time.
"It's something that, for straight people, when they get married it doesn't even cross their mind. What a luxury to not have to worry about that," Wade said.
Since retirement, they have spent time switching between fostering kittens and traveling. They have a cottage in Canada and three grandchildren that Wade describes as brilliant and beautiful. They like to hike and spend time in nature.
"I can't imagine a world without her. You get to feel like you are the same person," Wade said. "We talk about when we are really, really old, we'll foster senior dogs. Because, at that age, you don't want to outlive your pet."
