By Ed English<\/em> Pictured: Darin Lenhardt. Photo by Andrew Potter<\/p><\/div> <\/p>\n Two worlds are about to collide! Moving in together can be a lot like sex – if done right, it feels and looks awesome; if done wrong, someone silently suffers. 1. Move your stuff in, but NOT all of it <\/b> 2. Create a home, NOT a homage<\/b> 3. What's theirs is NOT yours<\/b> 4. Bathrooms are for your business, NOT ours <\/b> 5. Separate time, NOT space<\/b> 6. Live in the now, NOT the past<\/b> 7. Do NOT get too comfortable<\/b>
One of the most critical decisions engaged couples will make is choosing a ceremony and reception venue. These choices will impact almost every other choice, so
[...]
For local couples seeking inspiration on hosting a thoroughly Michigan wedding, look no further than the November 2023 nuptials of Ypsilanti brides Rachel and
[...]
My perhaps ill-advised decision to permit connection with my extremely heterosexual and extremely traditional mom on social media has resulted in many
[...]
Whenever I visit my grandmother, I ask her to tell me as many stories as possible. Some of them are funny, like the time she’d climb into her
[...]
I curled into a fetal position and sobbed. All my partner had asked for was to reschedule our plans so they could have some alone time. What was wrong with me?
[...]
Home. Is it a place or a feeling? For some people, “home” is just somewhere to lay your head. For others, home can be a safe haven — a
[...]
\n<\/p>![](\"\/archive\/btl-db\/images\/2319\/S2_HOME_Design_2319.jpg\")
\nAssuming your partner didn't mean you'd be together forever in \"gay years,\" you are about to embark on a long journey through adulthood's oldest rites of passage – living with a stranger. Because do you ever really know someone until you live with them? Well, you're about to find out.
\nBut if you don't want to be moving out as fast as you moved in, here are seven tips on how to build a home as a couple and not<\/i> be a homewrecker from Arturo Sanchez of Art","Harrison Interiors in Royal Oak and Darin Lenhardt, creative director at Fleurdetroit in Birmingham.<\/p>\n
\nAre you wondering where to put that beat-up La-Z-Boy you've had since college? The answer is back at college. Moving in with your partner is the opportunity to assess which of you has the better furnishings, says Sanchez.
\n\"Chances are, they have a lot of duplicates,\" he says. \"You glean the best of both households, then you try to make a story using those pieces.\" If you're both bringing La-Z-Boys, get out while you still can.<\/p>\n
\nThe fastest way to date your living space and relationship is to give it a theme. Don't turn your home into one big tribute to Broadway's bests or the great outdoors.
\n\"The key is to give themes a light touch,\" says Sanchez. \"You can have an essence of a theme, but don't go crazy. If your place all of a sudden looks like Outback Steakhouse, then you've gone too far.\"
\nIf someone is moving in with you, you don't have to completely remodel your home, but you should start a project together, says Lenhardt.
\n\"Just start a project so you're sharing in this home together,\" he says. \"Pick out wall colors together. The feeling of collaboration is important.\" <\/p>\n
\nNow that you're all moved in, don't assume everything is up for grabs. \"The whole point about being a gay couple is that hopefully you're the same size,\" says Sanchez. \"But some people have that one sweater they don't want their partner to stretch out or spill something on.\" Take caution when helping yourself to your partner's wardrobe and personal belongings, he explains. \"Just be respectful of the person's personal space and the things they are bringing.\"
\nIf it feels wrong when you are rummaging through that secret box your partner keeps in the back of the closet, chances are, it is! <\/p>\n
\nWhen you live together, eventually you will find yourselves moving throughout each room of the house as a couple. He's reading on the couch, so you answer emails on your laptop next to him. She's doing work in the office, so you sit and flip through magazines. This game of cat and mouse should stop at the bathroom.
\n\"It's important when you are moving in to use the bathroom by yourself,\" says Lenhardt. \"Because if you have your own stuff to do in the morning, you should have your own time to do it and not have your partner in the way.\"
\nIf possible, have two countertops, says Sanchez. If not two bathrooms, separate the items you use each day. \"We share the counter but have two separate drawers because everybody has their products,\" he says. <\/p>\n
\nThere should be three spaces in your home: \"You should have yours, theirs and ours,\" says Sanchez, explaining, if you are separate in everything, there's no point in moving in together. \"You each need a space to learn how to be a couple.\"
\nBut space doesn't always mean physical space.
\n\"Not necessarily having your own space but your own time,\" adds Lenhardt. It's important for even the most in-love couple to have alone time, because you can't lovingly miss someone who is never gone. <\/p>\n
\nPhotos in your home help you remember the good times when you are going through a rough patch with your partner. Photos of your ex help your partner remember the good times you had when you're going through a rough patch.
\n\"No!\" says Lenhardt about past relationship photos. \"You put your memories in a drawer and start your new life and a new montage on the wall.\"<\/p>\n
\nTry to always be organized when you are sharing a home with your partner, because if not, it's only going to make things that much more difficult when you move out. Just kidding! But not really.<\/p>\n<\/div>"]
Read More
Tips on Selecting a Wedding Venue When You’re Stuck on the ‘Where’
How These Ypsilanti Brides Created a Deeply Personal, Intentionally Michigan Wedding
Let's *Not* Say Forever and Other Ways LGBTQ+ Folks Are Queering Their Wedding Vows
Finding a Wedding Dress Authentic to My Identity As a Queer Pakistani Woman
We Left Christianity But It Didn't Leave Us: Being Ex-Christian in Relationships
Inside the Homes of Michigan LGBTQ+ Leaders
Keepin' Your House A Home
["
\n
Michigan
Why So Many Local Queer Folks Are Flocking to Mishpacha, Temple Beth Emeth’s Thriving LGBTQ+ Affinity Group
Ari Smith was a little worried when her rabbi called to ask her about something he was noticing in her part of the sanctuary during weekly services at Temple [...]
Why a Local Academic Is Fostering Queer Discussion and Community Through an Old-Fashioned Book Club
Queer books on public library shelves have come under fire across the country in recent years, but you wouldn’t know it at the Ypsilanti District Library [...]
Biden-Harris Campaign Launches LGBTQ+ Voter Initiative at Affirmations — How You Can Get Involved in the 2024 Election
The election season is officially heating up in Michigan, with a special focus on queer voters. On April 10, local and statewide community leaders and elected [...]
Tips on Selecting a Wedding Venue When You’re Stuck on the ‘Where’
One of the most critical decisions engaged couples will make is choosing a ceremony and reception venue. These choices will impact almost every other choice, so [...]
How the Recently Passed Michigan Family Protection Act Will Safeguard LGBTQ+ Parents and Families
Michigan Democrats have held a “trifecta” of power since late 2022 when the party flipped both chambers of the House and won the governorship and [...]
Let's *Not* Say Forever and Other Ways LGBTQ+ Folks Are Queering Their Wedding Vows
My perhaps ill-advised decision to permit connection with my extremely heterosexual and extremely traditional mom on social media has resulted in many [...]
