Caption: James Whipple and Carl Weiler were married on July 26. (BTL photo: Jason A. Michael) FERNDALE – Carl Weiler and James Whipple, both 73, got married in the middle of a Sunday morning service at Zion Lutheran Church on July 26. The day had been a long time coming. The two had been together for some 17 years. Both men had previously been married to women and had children, having come out later in life.
The two met, they proudly recall, at a leather party in 1998, back when Weiler was a member of Tribe Detroit and Whipple of Studs 30.
"I had been dating for about three years and finally given up," said Whipple. "I said, 'Nothing's gonna ever happen.' Then he walked up and posed the question, 'Do you wanna play?' And I turned around and said 'Who me?' There were three of us there. So we had a delightful evening of sex."
Afterward, Whipple asked for Weiler's phone number.
"He was sure he wasn't going to get a call from me," said Whipple. "But I called him and the next Friday we went to see a movie at the Detroit Film Theater and it sort of progressed from that."
At that time, Whipple was working as the executive director of Friends Alliance, an AIDS service organization. Weiler had an apartment in Detroit, and the couple spent a lot of time together there.
"I made him wait two years before I would move in with him," Weiler said.
But soon the couple was very serious. They traveled together, taking as their first trip an RSVP cruise to the Caribbean. Then in 2002 they had a commitment ceremony at Metropolitan Community Church-Detroit, the church the couple attended at the time.
"We've lived as if we were married for many years," said Weiler. "We see the same doctor. He sees us both at the same time … the urologist, the internist, the dentist … But there was always that fear that someone would find out. We work out at the Y five days a week, and if someone found out that we were gay … They just assumed we were brothers. But as it turned out, we'd been there 10-15 years and it didn't matter when they discovered we were gay. We were already accepted."
Today, the couple remains very active in the community. Whipple is the current president of Gay Elders of Metro Detroit, a group that works closely with the LGBT Older Adult Coalition at Affirmations. They are both also involved with AARP, the Diversity Task Force of their synod and the Motor City Bears.
"I think that keeping active and being involved has really helped us," said Whipple. "It always amazes me, especially with people of our generation, how few of them are connected with resources for older adults. They tend to be very insular in their approach and we just sort of do everything. But I think for a majority of people in our generation it is very difficult. That was the impetus of getting involved in the Adult Coalition, to make things a little easier for older LGBT people to have access to services and find out what's really going on and what's available."
Weiler and Whipple say they are together frequently and one is not often seen without the other.
"He's thoughtful, considerate and very loving," Weiler said of his husband. "He's supportive in anything I choose to do. Like, I'll pull the weeds, and he'll pick up the weeds and put them in the trash. We work together very closely."
Of his husband, Whipple said, "He has a very pure soul. He's very loving. He has beautiful silky hair. He's a very good balance for me. He's a good protector. I do crazy things.
"We laugh a lot, too, the both of us," Whipple continued. "Unfortunately, we've been together long enough that he's picked up all my bad habits."
