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The Importance Of Celebrating Bisexuality

BY AJ TRAGER

Emily Dievendorf

LANSING – Celebrate Bisexuality Day commemorates its 15th anniversary this year on Sept. 23, with the week surrounding the date serving as a bi "awareness week." Former executive director of Equality Michigan, Emily Dievendorf, is an out bi leader in the LGBT community. She is currently running for Lansing City Council but remains extremely active in the LGBT community, especially surrounding bi awareness and bi inclusion.
Dievendorf regularly meets with other bi leaders in the nation to figure out how to diminish disparities that affect the bi community in disproportionate amounts compared to the lesbian and gay communities such as with HIV/AIDS, domestic partner violence and smoking rates. Research directed specifically for the bi community is imperative for Dievendorf, who wants to see national and local LGBT organizations build stronger ties to the bi community. She hopes that they will include more bi voices and experiences so that the bi community has a stronger seat at the LGBT table. In order to build and have more quantifiable research, bi people need to be acknowledged as part of LGBT and have active representation. Dievendorf spoke with Between the Lines about how bi people can be more visible at the LGBT table in light of Bi Awareness Week.

What would you say are the top issues affecting the bi community that may not necessarily affect the "LGs"?

There are issues that affect all of the community but affect us to a greater extent because it's not just that the resources aren't there, but also that the community isn't there. Anything that is impacted by stress is something that is going to impact us more to a certain extent because of the lack of community and alienation, but also there is the fact that we aren't getting help because there is nowhere to go when those issues come up. We are denied our existence or people deny that we exist.
As far as the LGBT community as a whole, how do you think that community can include more bi voices and give more support to bi individuals?
I think that just as we are trying to make sure there is more representation at the table for other parts of our community that aren't acknowledged or empowered often enough and tend to be more vulnerable, we need to make sure that bi people are asked to be a part of the discussion and are asked to be a part of the specific thing that affects their lives. But also that we are putting aside funds that are targeted directly at the bi populaton so that we also have a safe space. We need to pay attention to that and know that bisexual members of the LGBT communities are struggling with alienation. And the rest of the community is very much a part of making sure that doesn't happen.

How do we start having conversations with members of the LGBT community who don't think bisexuality is real?

I think that that is always a funny and sad conundrum because bi women will often end up dating men more often and that is because we are given very little chance to date lesbian women or to date other bi women. Queer women seem to have this fear of our having been tainted by men or us not being loyal, and of course those are just stereotypes, fears and insecurities. I think it is rooted in the L and G communities fighting very hard for very long to be recognized in their humanity and to be understood. As somebody who does not accept a binary, and this goes for the trans community as well, but those of us who challenge the binary make it that much more complex. We demand more from the average person inside and outside the community and to allow for more gray areas in sexuality and gender. And that makes it more difficult for everybody to a certain extent. But it also frees us.
Just that you feel strongly for one person than you might for another person that you're dating, that doesn't change your sexuality, but maybe that is your reaction and born to that person. The beautiful thing about sexuality is that so much of it depends on the human bond and connection, and what we're all really looking for is somebody that we can love and who can reciprocate with and possibly build a life with — or even appreciate in that moment. All that matters is we find somebody that treats us well and that we care for.

How do you feel about the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

I think that there is a lot of the younger generation that doesn't want to use the term bisexuality because we don't want to imply that there is a binary. Pansexuality allows us to more verbally, tangibly acknowledge the spectrum. The problem with that is, for a lot of bi advocates, we no longer consider bisexuality a binary. Bisexuality is an umbrella. Pansexuality is something that is more complex. And I would like to think that we will continue to use language that doesn't diminish the complexity or reality of a situation, and I think that means that eventually we will evolve to being more specific.

Why is it important to celebrate bi awareness week?

Because we are real. Because so many people don't think we are real. I was and still am a leader in the larger LGBT community, and there have been times where I have dated women who identify as lesbians who are warned away from me and told that I am probably just experimenting or playing with them. And it is infuriating. Because still to this day, no matter how much you attest to who you are and how you feel, people will project their fears onto you and write you off by saying that you aren't even a thing. We just aren't to a place yet where we can afford to be quiet about our presence in the room. Because if we are quiet, it will be assumed that we either aren't there or are pretending to be there in our identity.

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