BY AJ TRAGER
MACOMB COUNTY- It was important for Clare Coughlin and Barbara Hardison to get married after being together for nearly 30 years. Their relationship has weathered many storms; over the years they have experienced car accidents, the loss of many loved ones and have endured the pain of cancer.
Coughlin met Hardison in the '80s after accepting her boss' invitation to compete in a local bowling league. Coughlin stayed on the team and their romance eventually blossomed.
"It wasn't love at first sight or anything," Coughlin said. "It took us awhile."
They did not rush to the courthouse directly following the U.S. Supreme Court marriage equality ruling last June and wanted instead to celebrate the day with those that have supported them throughout the years. They finally tied the (legal) knot on Sept. 9, 2015 before beloved friends and family.
The weather was dicey and Hardison and Coughlin were concerned about rain falling during the ceremony. Thankfully, the black clouds cleared and the only hiccup during the ceremony was the crow of a rooster.
Both Hardison and Coughlin had one of their closest friends stand with them during the ceremony at the quiet wedding in the backyard of a friend's home in Ray Township, decked out with luau decorations and all the fittings for a delicious pig roast. Family and friends from Florida to Arizona came to attend the Hawaiian themed wedding.
Two of their nieces performed flower girl duties and their great nephew was responsible for handing out silk leis to all the attendees. A special signature drink was even created by Coughlin's nephew Jeff, called "Island on the Street," a pineapple drink inspired by romantic events in their relationship.
They were first joined 15 years ago in a more traditional style church ceremony at Divine Peace MCC by Rev. Deb Cox. But much like life changes, so too did their feelings of validity. Coughlin and Hardison both say it is hard to describe how they feel four months after being legally wed.
"When you're getting ready to get married and you're making all these plans, you think it's just an action. But after you do it and sign the paperwork and everything, you feel different. Different because you're legal. And it just feels like it's recognized," Hardison said.
"And it's a validation," Coughlin chimed in. "It's hard to describe. But it's how it feels to be able to say, 'Yes, I'm married.'"
The ceremony concluded with "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.
As an older couple but stil working full time, Hardison and Coughlin spend much of their free hours playing board or card games. They both grew up playing card games and they have shared the activity since the beginning of their relationship. Even though they may take things a little slower now due to Hardison's bum hip and repercussions from other physical illnesses, together they remain strong and passionate in their relationship and say that communication is the key to a successful, long-lasting relationship.
"One of the things that we've learned over time is that you just have to get to know the other person and what the other person's idosyncracies are and learn to deal with them so that it becomes part of the way life is," Coughlin said. "I am German and Irish. So I can be known to have a temper and can be kwown to get over excited easily, so Barb has had to learn how to handle that and let it blow over. I just think that when people get together, they have to be in it for the long haul and you don't know what's going to come your way."
