BY AJ TRAGER
INDIAN VILLAGE – Not many folks plan a wedding for a Tuesday evening, but for newlyweds Jermaine Moore and Matirio Matters, the rainy day of April 5 was the only one they would accept.
The couple met 17 years ago at a holiday party but didn't start dating until two years later on April 5. They share a home with their three cats on Detroit's east side, which was completely rearranged to accomodate for the 42 guests that arrived for their wedding.
Matters and Moore began planning their wedding a year in advance at the 2015 LGBT Wedding & Anniversary Expo, hosted by Between The Lines Newspaper. They knew that they didn't have a huge budget to spend on wedding accouterments but wanted to ensure that their day was as spectacular as their union.
"A lot of work went into the planning. Last year's wedding expo helped a lot because we were able to meet a great photographer that we liked. We got a lot of info from last year. When it was time to work on the planning, I pulled out the bag from last year's expo and we got to work," Moore said.
Despite going to the Wedding Expo and hooking up with vendors like Tappers who made their rings, Moore and Matters ran into significant trouble putting their wedding together when Matters came down with a debilitating case of pneumonia which then led to a severe case of laryngitis, which he is still battling.
Moore, however, wasn't going to stop preparation for anything and spent the four months before the wedding deep cleaning the house, preparing and installing the decorations, ordering the chairs, watching YouTube videos to get a feel for how to make boutonnieres and bouquets, and acquiring many of the extras that couples don't expect to need before they plan a wedding.
"He did a really good job," Matters said. "He was working and then took some overtime. Before work he was running around, and then at the same time he was taking care of me. It was really, really good what he did."
Due to thorough planning they were able to transform their home, get the rings, rent tuxes and put together the bouquets all for around $2,000.
Unexpectedly, their good friend Nkenge Burkhead became an ordained minister so she could read their wedding ceremony. As a surprise, she added in her own poem written as an homage to affirming commitment and the love shared between the happy couple.
"For me, it doesn't feel any different because of the time that we have been together and the things we have together. We're going to be together for the next 30 years. It didn't feel any different. But now I need to go to my HR representative and update my file so that it reads husband, not partner. Things like that have crossed my mind. It's a sense of officially belonging to someone. It's still weird having a wedding ring on that finger. It takes some getting used to," Moore told BTL.
His partner, however, did not feel the same. For Matters, officially getting married has made him feel closer to Moore and says it now feels like a legitimacy of their bond.
"It is constantly in my head that he's not my partner and not my boyfriend; he's actually my husband," Moore said. "I feel different in my heart. Nothing should change about our expectations. We know who we are. The thing about us is from the time we've been together we've changed, adjusted and adapted. That makes me feel that we're different and that there's going to be longevity because of that reason — the fact that we know how to adapt."
The couple says the key to a lasting relationship is that, even in the darkest arguments, they both know that they want the relationship to work and are therefore willing to compromise. It also helps that they are able to put their own egos in check when dealing with disagreement.
"You have to really want a relationship, and you have to be willing to listen to your other half," Moore said. "You have to be willing to get an understanding of their feelings and different situations and things like that. In disagreements, both of you have to be willing to listen and communicate openly with one another."
