BY MIKEY ROX
Gay ol’ St. Nick delivers the goods to LGBT people of all ages and sensibilities with this comprehensive gift guide designed to please every persuasion. (And because it wouldn’t be Christmas without dick cookies.)
Elliot Havok Racer Chronograph Watch
Designed in gay-mecca Golden Gate City, the chronograph watch from Elliot Havok – shown here in festive green with Italian leather straps – features Miyota Japanese JS15 movement, a sapphire glass face, and enough style cred that you can forgo the gift receipt. $199, http://elliothavok.com.
ONEHOPE Pride Box
Gay newlyweds will cherish the sentiment – and enjoy the bubbly – in this prideful gift box featuring ONEHOPE California Sparkling Brut Rainbow Glitter Edition, a Supreme Court Ruling card by Emily McDowell, rainbow disco ball bottle-necker, and confetti push-pop in a white gift box. Every two gift sets funds one hour of operational costs for the Trevor Project’s lifeline helpline that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth. $99, http://onehopewine.com.
Slumbr’s online Pillow Quiz will help determine which luxurious pillows suit each sleeper – take it on your partner’s behalf so you don’t ruin the surprise – but rest assured (yeah, we know what we did there) that you’ll both sleep better as visions of go-go boys dance in your heads. $60-$225, slumbr.com
BucknBear Small Abalone Knife
Vibrant iridescent abalone handles flank a gorgeous VG10 core Damascus steel blade – which resembles a beach shoreline – to create this all-purpose pocketknife that avid outdoorsmen and lesbians will go gaga over. $89, http://urbanedcsupply.com.
Commuters and students alike will appreciate this environmentally safe electric scooter that charges in a standard AC outlet, hits the road at up to 20 miles per hour for 10 to 20 miles on a single charge, and folds down quickly and easily into a compact and lightweight means of save-the-planet transportation. $799, http://ecorecoscooter.com.
Petite Diamond Snowflake Necklace
Sixty-one shimmering diamonds set in a snowflake of 14K white gold takes the liberal politics your girlfriend wears on her proverbial sleeve and puts them squarely on her chest. A badge of honor, indeed. $495, http://bahdos.com
Deck out your special sports fan in head-to-toe spirit for their favorite team with a Fanchest filled with everything they’ll need for a next-level game day. Each box is unique but chests often include shirts, hats, scarves, cups, and more officially licensed swag from NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB or college teams. Autographed memorabilia boxes also are available. $59-$299, http://fanchest.com.
Genital-Shaped Cookie Cutters
Gay sex positions and detailed human genitalia – veins and all, y’all – turn sugar-spiked dough into never-more-than-a-mouthful cookies lifted straight from the Kama Sutra. Perfect for the church bake sale. $9-12, http://www.etsy.com/au/shop/bakerlogy.
Astro Fi Wi-Fi Connected Telescope
Your gay niece or nephew (don’t we all have one by now?) can shoot for the stars – or at least gaze at them – with the Astro Fi Wi-Fi Connected Telescope that throws the live night sky onto a phone or tablet for easy exploration of the cosmos (or the hot neighbor’s bedroom). $400, http://thegrommet.com.
Frank Lloyd Wright Porcelain Box
Gold-trimmed and limited edition – only 1,500 numbered pieces exist – this porcelain lidded catchall features one of Wright’s Liberty magazine cover designs with a quote on the inside as a daily reminder to put your best LGBT foot forward. $80, http://shopwright.org.
Wine Explorer by Vinome
After receiving their Helix-sequenced DNA results, recipients can head to the Vinome website to discover curated wine recommendations tailored to their taste preferences and scientifically selected based on their genetic makeup to add an exciting new element to boozy half-price-bottle nights. $110, http://helix.com.
Epson Home Cinema 2100
Screen movies up to 11-feet wide – that’s four times the size of a 60-inch flat panel TV – with this home projector featuring full HD resolution, 1.6x zoom, and a built-in 10 W speaker that’ll make your Netflix and chill routine feel like a second-run matinee. Popcorn trick encouraged. $650, http://epson.com.
Symphonica Horn Speaker Dock
Reminiscent of the iconic Victrola phonograph, this handcrafted acoustic horn updates turn-of-the-century design to produce a sleek, electricity-free speaker to amplify smartphone playlists that would make Edison cream his pants. $130-$160, http://symphonicasound.com.
Kevin Messenger Beverage Carrier
Don’t let this bag fool you: The only message it’s sending is how to get day drunk on three liters of insulated wine, beer, or premade cocktail – and look dapper as fuck doing it. $75, http://vivajennz.com.
Iridescent Universe Joggers
Explore the constellations of his nether region while he’s lounging in these hypnotic, cosmic statement joggers that you can’t take your eyes off of. $60, http://intotheam.com.
Hestan Cue Induction Cooking System
This smart pan and induction burner with embedded Bluetooth sensors brings amateur kitchen skills into the 21st century so you and boo can home-cook like the tuned-in Millennials you can’t stop telling everybody you are. $500, http://hestancue.com.
Rocabi Weighted Blanket
Cut back on your Advil PM and Xanax nightcaps with all-the-rage adult weighted blankets that studies have found to help alleviate anxiety and insomnia. (But a little rub and tug at bedtime never hurt either.) $209-$279, http://rocabi.com
Seersucker Martini Belt
Hand-stitched and made to order, the martini needlepoint belt from Brewster Belt Co. adds a twist of whimsy to casual Fridays while reinforcing the comforting reality that it’s always five o’clock somewhere. Also available in a San Francisco landscape design prominently featuring the rainbow pride flag. $165-$175, http://brewsterbelt.com.
Hitch vintage-inspired Happier Camper – outfitted with modern amenities, like the Adaptiv modular interior, USB ports, and other custom components – to the back of most vehicles for all-the-time hook-up-and-go getaways guaranteed to renew a zest for adventure. $18,950+, http://happiercamper.com.