By Sean Kosofsky
Has the marriage bug gotcha yet? It seems that everyone is talking about marriage equality everywhere you go.
Almost overnight it seems that the litmus test for whether someone is pro-gay depends on their position on marriage. This is very upsetting because although marriage equality is a no-brainer for a lot of us, many people are not yet clear about how they feel or are holding on for dear life to their traditional definitions.
When and why did this happen? How have the media, political observers and our families been corralled into focusing so much attention on one issue?
We have seen this before. It happened in the early nineties with the military, and now, once again, it is happening with marriage.
One good thing about the marriage struggle is that there is no more doubt in anyone's mind that the only realistic way for our families to have true equality is through marriage. Nothing short of marriage will actually suffice in the long term. That means we can demand more, expect more and move public opinion more significantly. With the push for marriage we will also be raising awareness about GLBT families in general, including same-sex parents.
Many of the GLBT lobbying organizations around the country have shifted away from incremental progress on piecemeal bills that would eventually lead to civil unions. Now most groups are looking at strategies to go directly to civil unions or marriage, without passing "GO" and without collecting $200. This dramatic shift toward marriage equality has left heads spinning. Foundations, philanthropists and entire organizations are moving toward marriage campaigns. Activists are threatening politicians, like Hilary Clinton, that if they do not support marriage equality, they will not get a dime of GLBT money for their campaigns.
Most minorities have had this phenomenon occur. Most Latinos living in the United States right now are being forced into discussions about immigration because it is a hot national topic, despite the fact that many Latinos, especially those here legally, don't see the immigration issue as their number one concern. For many African-American and female voters, affirmative action is front and center, even though admissions policies at colleges may not be their main concern.
For GLBT people who don't yet have the basic right to a job, or have basic coverage under existing hate crimes or anti-bullying policies, marriage is seen as a pie in the sky dream. Who cares if I can get married if I could lose my job when I show my wedding ring to my co-workers? Marriage provides many rights to couples, but what about those that have chosen to live their lives single? Or outside the confines of marriage?
Our movement is running the risk of tunnel vision. Marriage as the ultimate prize is both puzzling and problematic. Don't get me wrong; I know how valuable marriage benefits are and how critical they are to families in our community. But that does not mean that the seismic shift in resources toward marriage work is justified at the expense of workers' rights, housing discrimination and victim services.
The movement needs a long term vision statement and roadmap that includes all the struggles and all the options on the table. The marriage struggle could be pitting liberal blue states against more conservative red states. With just a little bit of support, developing GLBT community organizations in rural parts of the country could make huge changes in their community. Is marriage equality in Rhode Island more significant than passing a statewide civil rights law in the Deep South? I am not so sure. We need a plan that includes everyone. The struggle for safety, security and sexual freedom is not only achievable through the avenue of marriage. Any movement that puts all its eggs in one basket runs a major risk of taking a hit on their investment.
When we talk about what we want from our government and from our communities, let's remember who isn't at the table. The movement must have room for us to lift all boats at the same time.
