Greetings from a pandemic that is still ongoing and getting worse in places. Here is a public service announcement: you don’t need to be eating inside of restaurants right now even if your state says [...]
To create the right kind of atmosphere in order to write this I have all the lights off and am using a black background instead of a white one on my computer. I’m also burning [...]
It’s the early 1970s in the U.S. There is an energy crisis with long lines at gas pumps, fuel rationing and station owners posting signs declaring that they’re “bone dry.” All this at a time [...]
Arkansas is auditioning hard to become America’s biggest nightmare state. There is a lot of creepy stuff afoot right now. Across the country, Republicans are passing anti-voting legislation because they know they can’t win on [...]
It’s been one hell of a week. First, the good news. Vaccine distribution is going great! Hooray! Go get stabbed when it’s your turn! I can’t wait! So many exclamation marks!!! Then the bad news. [...]
Thousands of people in Jackson, Mississippi, were without water for weeks following winter storms that also wreaked havoc in Texas, revealing huge infrastructure failures. Thankfully, both Texas and Mississippi have responded with the only thing [...]
So apparently a child with a mustache posted a video on TikTok declaring that he’s “made a new sexuality” called super straight? That, according to him, means he doesn’t date transgender women because they aren’t [...]
When Mr. Potato Head first appeared on the market in 1952, the toy was very different from the smiling plastic orb we see in the "Toy Story" movie. The original Mr. Potato Head was basically [...]
Hip, hip, hooray! The U.S. House passed The Equality Act! We’re all equal now! There’s no more hate, no more homophobia, no more Marjorie Taylor Greene! OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But the [...]
On Jan. 6 when the United States Capitol was being attacked by terrorists, Crys Matthews, who calls D.C. home, was in the recording studio in Bethesda, Maryland. Close, but a safe distance from the violence. [...]
Have you ever thought to yourself, “What could somebody do or say that would get them kicked off of the Conservative Political Action Conference’s speaker roster?” and then found yourself thinking really hard about it, [...]
We hold these truths to be self-evident: climate change is real and Republicans are terrible. Look no further than Texas, where, as I write this, millions of people are without power. No water, no heat [...]
We hold these truths to be self-evident: climate change is real and Republicans are terrible. Look no further than Texas, where, as I write this, millions of people are without power. No water, no heat [...]
By the time you read this, Joe Biden will be the President and the worst president in U.S. history will be history. Truly hope the door hits Trump in the ass on his way out. [...]
Hello! It’s 2021 and everything is fine now! Ha, ha, just kidding. The dumpster fire rages on. Some things in 2021 are delightful, like that guy who made the music video about the broccoli casserole [...]
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Joe Biden won the election. And I don’t know what the hell is going to happen when the day comes for Trump to leave the White [...]
I’m trying to think of a scenario in which it would be appropriate to call Dr. Jill Biden “kiddo.” Maybe if you were a long-dead relative of hers who has come back from the dead? [...]
In case you haven’t heard, Donald Trump lost the 2020 presidential election. It’s over. Joe Biden will be the next Commander in Chief and not a second too soon. In fact, it’s scary that Trump [...]
On Monday, Oct. 27, Donald Trump swore in his third Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett under the cloak of night. And like many things that necessitate darkness, it was a sordid affair that will [...]
When I learned that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died I was eating these little peanut butter granola bites I really like. I immediately felt like I was going to be sick. I don’t think I’ll ever [...]
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. What a devastating loss. For her family, for the country, for the rule of law. We didn’t let her have a single moment of peace in the last years of her life. [...]
In the eyes of James Dobson and other leaders in the far-right corners of Christianity, Donald Trump can do no wrong. In a Sept. 14 column titled, “A Moral Alarm Against the Legislative Death March [...]
Greetings and F.U. to Trump and his enabling Republicans who pretended COVID-19 was a Democratic hoax and STILL have no national plan to mitigate the virus, because my kid started his first day of middle [...]
Well, well, well, if it isn’t another week in Horror Town, USA. That's just about any town in the country right now, but it's definitely all of the towns in Florida. Every time I watch [...]
I’m in Philadelphia visiting my sister and apparently during my trip there were Nazis marching here and chanting “fuck the gays.” Ah, America. Meanwhile, people are debating whether or not “cancel culture” is the real [...]
Corporate America, man. Who knew they had the power to do seemingly impossible things like getting the Washington football team that uses a racial slur as a goddamn mascot to change its name? I mean, [...]
I am thinking of changing the title of this column to “Dispatches from Hell,” because I truly feel like every week is just another barrage of awful news stories, most of them with Trump at [...]
Even if you know in your heart of rainbow hearts that the president of the United States and the cretins who work for him hate you, you might not realize that this administration is always [...]
June may be Pride Month, but it is’t official any more. Not since Donald Trump became the president. He has never issued an official proclamation declaring June Pride month. But this year is different. Not [...]
I’m writing this on June 1, the beginning of Pride month. Simultaneously, across the country people are protesting and tensions are escalating over the issue of racism. This is, of course, related to Pride. Many [...]
At the time of this writing, 89,564 people have died from COVID-19 in the U.S. An uninterrupted moment of silence for each person would last 62 days. And yet there is no state of national [...]
In the past month you’ve no doubt seen headlines like, “Can your marriage survive the coronavirus?” or “15 Tips On How To Stay Married During Quarantine” or “Yep, we’re all fighting with our partners right [...]
Currently trending political advice: Do not chug Lysol. Do not inject bleach. Do not smoke Clorox wipes. Also add to that list: Do not vote for Republicans. My God, what a sick and dangerous joke [...]
Well, it was only a matter of time before it was revealed that LGBTQ people are responsible for the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak. It turns out that God is mad about gay marriage. So file COVID-19 [...]
There’s a reason #StayTheFuckHome is trending. Because that’s what we should all be doing. As much as possible, of course. There are lots of people who can’t, maybe because they have to work or have medical appointments they can’t miss. In other words, good reasons.
There’s a reason #StayTheFuckHome is trending. Because that’s what we should all be doing. As much as possible, of course. There are lots of people who can’t, maybe because they have to work or have [...]
Public Service Announcement: Wash your hands – more than you already do. And get yourself a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls and swab down your phone on the daily. As an expert [...]
When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mayflower landed at Cape Cod and that’s how the pilgrims (aka the puritans) arrived in America. After this lesson I did not become, nor was I tempted to become 1.) A pilgrim, 2.) A deckhand, 3.) A cod.
When I went to the library recently there was a black man, maybe in his 30s, standing outside collecting signatures. Being civic-minded and nosey, I approached him to see what the signatures were for. “I’m running for Congress and I am collecting signatures to get on the ballot,” he said.
Genna Gazelka, a 31-year-old who identifies as bi-gender, knows firsthand the pain of conversation therapy, calling it “harassment” and “torture.” According to a May, 2019 interview with the Star Tribune, as a teen they were [...]
Genna Gazelka, a 31-year-old who identifies as bi-gender, knows firsthand the pain of conversation therapy, calling it “harassment” and “torture.”
By the time you read this, the U.S. may be at war with Iran and/or World War III may have begun because we have the dumbest, most impulsive and selfish president in the history of America. Happy New Year.
This impeachment stuff is stressing me out. Donald Trump keeps screaming that this whole thing is very bad for the country. And he is right! Impeaching a president IS bad for the country.
My youngest sister just got married. To a man. Though she’s chosen the heterosexual lifestyle, I accept her.
I spent part of my weekend attending a 2019 Election post-smortem where a group of committed volunteers, activists, candidates and elected officials went over what went right and what went not-so-right in 2019. Some of [...]
Is America ready for a gay president? No way say the people who currently support with blind fealty and reverence a president who is a corrupt serial adulterer rapist half-wit. A president can be many [...]
Strike up the band and start the parade, ladies and gentlemen and those who identify somewhere in between or beyond. Chick-fil-A has gone gay! We’ve done it. At long last we’ve broken the anti-LGBTQ spirit [...]
It’s been a hell of a week for Pete Buttigieg. The fact that he’s polling so high is amazing and it makes me proud that an openly gay man is doing so well. He’s not my pick (Elizabeth Warren is far more qualified), but his campaign is historic and I love it.
And so, Azar wants to scrap protections for LGBTQ people so he can protect the “religious freedom” to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation and gender identity all while giving these religious groups tax [...]
Once upon a time there was a president so unpopular with and loathed by the American people that on the same day he announced the killing of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi he was booed [...]
