“It’s not that hard to attract hot guys. All you need is one of two things — beauty or bucks. You’ve got beauty. But I’ve got bucks!” — Michael Huffington (former spouse of Arianna) tells a very good-looking passerby how he happened to be in the company of the hottest boys on the beach in Provincetown on the 4th of July.
This past week, I was in South Beach to spend some time with “Amazing Race” winner Chip Arndt — who has a big project about to be launched (I’m sworn to secrecy…for now). Later that eve, I met up with a young lad from Chicago who happened to be traveling on the dime of an older gent (not unlike Mr. Huffington). When I ungallantly referred to the tyke as a hooker, he vigorously disagreed. “Sure, the guy is unattractive, but he’s paying for the trip. So while he’s plowing me, I just lie there and think of the things he’ll buy me afterwards.” Honey, that’s the very definition of “hooker.” Then again, he didn’t charge me!
Denise Richards wants Charlie Sheen back in her life — but not in her vagina. This past week, we learned that Richards formally requested some of Charlie’s sperm — which I don’t believe falls under the community property laws. Charlie states, “There was a request for a donation,” and that “there is a specific document relating to this that I am going to reserve for a court.” As much as Richards doesn’t want to be married to Sheen, she likes his genes. That’s kinda like wanting dessert but not willing to sit through dinner. Needless to say, Charlie has politely declined — via an interview with “Entertainment Tonight”!
In some actual gay baby news, congratulations go out to former “Roseanne” star Sara Gilbert, who gave birth to a baby girl on Aug. 2. Sawyer Gilbert Adler is Sara’s first biological child, but is the second child she shares with partner Allison Adler. Adler gave birth to son Levi three years ago.
Ricky Martin wants kids, but feels his child-bearing years are behind him. The songstress told reporters in Puerto Rico that he’d like to adopt a child from every continent, although when pressed for an exact number, he was temporarily stumped. I’m not sure exactly where Martin’s legal residence is, but in Florida there’s that pesky box on the adoption forms which could problematic.
No one loves adopting kids more than Mia Farrow — but her children may soon find themselves with an absentee mom. The crazy kook has written a letter to the president of the Sudan asking that he release an ailing Darfur rebel who is being held captive and, get this, take Mia in his place. Quick, someone get that gal a ticket on Air Sudan!
Two reality studs have gone out of their way to proclaim their heterosexuality. First up is Nick from “Big Brother,” who seemed to be taunting the gay residents with hints that he could be “had.” Now that he’s out of the house, he’s whistling a different tune. “I am definitely 100 percent straight. Had nothing to do with men ever. But I am a very comfortable guy with my sexuality, and I do find men attractive, and I can say that because I’m comfortable with my sexuality.” Because, you know, he’s comfortable with his sexuality. OY!
Greg Hernandez, who is a writer for the LA Daily News and has a blog “Out in Hollywood,” was waiting to interview Amy Brenneman and he ran into Andy Baldwin (at which point I’d have said, “Amy who?”). When he told “The Bachelor” that many people admire Baldwin’s sexy Speedo pics, Andy said, “Some people are all show and no grow.” Greg then explained that most of his readers were gay men, Baldwin stated, “I’m definitely straight, heterosexual and I have a lot of friends who may not be.” Or they may be.
One of the most anticipated Broadway productions this fall is the revival of Terrance McNally’s “The Ritz.” This landmark play, set in a gay bath house, opens on Oct. 11, and will star Rosie Perez, Kevin Chamberlin, and the talented and sexy Brooks Ashmanskas. But buried in the listing of smaller parts is the name of gay porn legend Ryan Idol playing a “Patron.” This means that plans for Ryan’s long-delayed autobiographical show, “My Messy Bedroom,” will be pushed to the back burner. It also means that Ryan Idol is making his Broadway debut! This is certainly a sign that the Rapture is coming. Of course, the first sign was that Anita Baker song…
Speaking of Broadway, Lance Bass makes his debut in “Hairspray” on Aug. 14 playing “Corny Collins.” I’m told that the rehearsal period caused some angst for the cast, who had to relearn all of his numbers in a significantly lower key to accommodate Bass’ somewhat limited range. But, hey, if Jennifer Holliday can transpose some songs, why not Lance?
By the way, we hit record numbers on BillyMasters.com with last week’s footage of Jennifer Holliday in “Dreamgirls” from Atlanta. We also brought in a number of new fans, who were impressed that we have the ONLY extended footage of Holliday in this iconic role — 30 minutes of footage. Be sure to check it out — never know when it could disappear.
Speaking of hot footage, Victor in Minneapolis contributes this week’s “Ask Billy” question: “I heard about a fireman who was caught doing porn. What’s the story and is he hot?”
There’s SO much more to this story. Michael Biserta is a NYC fireman and also the cover model for the FDNY’s popular calendar, “2008 Calendar of Heroes.” Alas, that is not Mikey’s only claim to fame. He also is featured in the 2004 DVD “Guys Gone Wild” — kinda like the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, except instead of girls showing their tits for some beads at Mardi Gras, Biserta proudly shows off his penis to gals in a Cancun hotel room. He really got their attention with his self-proclaimed nine-and-a-half inch cock (which is also pretty damn thick). Without much prodding, he whips it out, insisting the gals not only film his dick, but also his face — a crucial mistake. While on camera, he plays with it, fluffs it, lathers it up in the shower, and shows that he can wrap it around his wrist (and, presumably, choke a horse, as they say). The bad news is this revelation has lead to the FDNY canceling future calendars. On the positive side, we’ll show every inch of Michael on www.BillyMasters.com.
Since I did so much work this week, our “Could it be…” item is brought to you from my sister in gossip, the delightful Janet Charlton (who can be read at http://www.JanetCharltonsHollywood.com):
Could it be that a hot hunk of an actor is desperate to have a career. He’s young, pretty, and stupid, and the only decent acting job he ever got was because he slept with the TV series creator. The show made him rather famous, but that’s over and now his career is faltering. He’s getting ready to make the ultimate sacrifice of switching teams once again. He’s got his eye on a powerful and connected member of Hollywood’s gay mafia who’s known for having lavish parties and helping the cute young guys that he sleeps with.
When I’m giving airtime to my colleagues, it’s definitely time to end another column. We ran very long this week, so I barely have time to remind you to check out http://www.BillyMasters.com for all your gossip needs. For any other needs I can fulfill, write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Ryan or Lance are nominated for a Tony. So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.