Imagine all the gay jokes told in the last 15 years of Michigan's Lesbian and Gay ComedyFest, Equality Michigan's annual laugh-out-loud event. Get ready for more at 6 and 9:30 p.m. March 5 at Dearborn's Ford Community & Performing Arts Center when another funny foursome deliver their own brand of queered-up comedy.
They're all from California, but otherwise Carlease Burke, Sandra Valls, Owen Alabado and past ComedyFest performer Poppy Champlin have a different story to tell. Folks, meet this year's comedians:
How old are you?
Owen: 31. I know I look like I am a lot younger; thanks for saying that. My mom had me with a Filipino.
Carlease: If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Poppy: I've hit the big 50, but I say 50 is the new 30. Yeah, right – just like middle class is the new poverty. Ha!
Sandra: Juvenile.
What was your first stand-up gig like?
Owen: I auditioned for The Comedy Store (in L.A.) and they booked me the next day. It was probably the most nervous I have ever been.
Carlease: The first time I ever did stand-up was the end result of taking a comedy class. Everyone showcased at a comedy club, and it was filled with friends, family and other classmates. It was safest environment a comic could ever have.
Poppy: I was going to play at Paco's Tacos in Wakefield, R.I., and I was booked to do it and when I got there it was closed, so I did my show outside under a street light. I got a standing ovation… because there were no chairs.
Sandra: It was in Harvard Square in Cambridge, Mass., above a chinese restaurant at a club called The Comedy Studio. I was so nervous that I memorized my whole set word for word, like a monologue. I can't eat Kung Pao Chicken without thinking of comedy!
What do other people often say about you?
Owen: I am the best gay they know.
Carlease: Delightful. Crazy.
Poppy: Dynamic, witty, intelligent, talented and high-energy. Like a hurricane of laughter.
Sandra: My friends say I'm the most loyal person in the world, plus ADD and anal. My girlfriend says I'm ADD and OCD, but an amazing girlfriend and lover. My fans say I'm fucking brilliant!
If I had a million dollars, I would…
Owen: Buy my friend, Joel, a personality.
Carlease: Do anything I damn well pleased.
Poppy: Get a place in the Caribbean.
Sandra: Pay Stevie Nicks to let me sing a duet with her.
Lady Gaga or Britney Spears?
Owen: Lady Gaga, because she wears things only a crazy person would wear. And she sings a lot better. Though she stole my idea for a song about a telephone, I still love her.
Carlease: Lady Gaga. She's fierce, fearless and outrageous.
Poppy: I wouldn't do either one of 'em. But if I had to choose which one I liked best I would go Gaga cause she is more my age and way off. Ya gotta respect people that are out there and making their mark.
Sandra: Stevie Nicks.
I'm so gay, I …
Owen: Cried when I watched every episode of the first season of "Glee" on DVD. Oh, and I just bought the entire DVD set of "The Golden Girls."
Carlease: Have a bisexual boyfriend.
Poppy: Moved from Los Angeles to Rhode Island to be closer to my girlfriend.
Sandra: I clean the garage religiously. I actually look forward to it.
ComedyFest
6 and 9:30 p.m. March 5
Dearborn's Ford Community & Performing Arts Center
15801 Michigan Ave., Dearborn
http://www.comedyfest.org
