There's a lot of talk about coming out these days.
Not just coming out to support LGBT events or to raise money – but that big, never-ending task every LGBT person faces in their lifetime.
Coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. To family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, Facebookers, peers, classmates, clergy – the list could go on for days. And that's why the job never ends.
In the gay biographical film "Milk," Harvey Milk himself tells everyone on his political team that they need to be out – to everyone in their lives. He even forces one to call his parents at that very moment – no later – to be open about his sexuality and live his life as honestly as possible.
Some people are out to everyone, in every aspect of their lives. Others live a life of secrecy where their coworkers know one thing and their parents another and their friends, still another. Some live in cities or families where to be gay or trans is to resign oneself to a life of ridicule, joblessness, homelessness, or worse. Others feel as though their world is a bubble of gay acceptance impervious to the outside homophobia, hatred and attacks on the LGBT community. They read about it in the news – but never experience it first-hand.
For these reasons and so many more – including internal fears and homophobia, which are sometimes enough on their own to stop someone from being openly gay, even to themselves – coming out is not easy.
And for those of us who are living openly, our task is to come out for those who can't.
When we talk about National Coming Out Day, celebrated Oct. 11 this year across the U.S., including numerous locations in Michigan, we're talking about one of the most difficult things that some people may ever have to do in their lives.
What is more difficult: Losing your family, or never finding yourself? Living a life of shame, or living a life of lies? Opening yourself up to hatred and the possibility of abuse, or keeping yourself shut so that no one is ever able to see you as you truly are?
These are difficult questions to ask oneself, and the answers are different for every LGBT person in the world.
But here's one thing that all LGBT people should know: If you come out, you will have a family. You will have people who love and respect you for who you are. They will support your decision to live openly and will reaffirm your belief in who you are.
For some people, this family of acceptance and support is all around them from the very moment in their lives that they realize, accept and share that they are gay. For others, finding this family is much harder – it may be cities or states or countries away. It may be a goal impossible to reach in one's lifetime, or it may be something you take for granted.
On this National Coming Out Day, for those of us who are out in our lives: cherish it, and use your freedom to help others to reach the same point. Stand in solidarity for those who feel, think or know that they must live their lives without ever coming out.
