Creep of the Week: Bob Allen

By | 2007-08-16T09:00:00-05:00 August 16th, 2007|Opinions|

In other words, Allen, a publicly elected official, would rather the public see him as a racist than as a homo.

While it may seem like only yesterday that Florida Rep. Bob Allen was Creep of the Week, in reality it was two whole weeks ago. Not last week, mind you. Last week’s Creep was Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle. Which makes Naugle the meat in a Bob Allen sandwich, if you think about it (which you shouldn’t). Those Florida boys sure know how to party, don’t they?
For those of you who missed the first Allen column, let me catch you up. On July 11, Allen was arrested in a public park after he offered to blow an undercover cop in the restroom for $20.
Allen has a 92 percent approval rating from the Christian Coalition, in part because of his anti-gay record. According to The Advocate, “Soon after taking office in 2001, Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children.” He’s also the author of the Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition Act, which, if passed, would have come down hard (no pun intended, I swear) on people like, well, him.
At the time of his arrest Allen swore the whole thing was a misunderstanding. “I’m not in any way associated with what they are saying,” he said. “This is disgusting.”
He’s changed his tune a bit now. The reason, you see, why Allen offered a blowjob to a guy in a public park is because he’s scared of black people.
“This (undercover officer) is a pretty stocky black guy, and there’s other black guys around in the park that–you know,” Allen was reported to have said.
Allen, who was the Police Union’s 2007 Lawmaker of the Year, told police he offered the big scary black man “what he thought he wanted” so he could get out of the restroom in one piece. “I went ahhh–I’m about to be a statistic. You catch all kinds of people, so a legislator is like whoa! You know, especially one that’s the (police union) guy of the year…this is too ironic!”
So, let’s recap: out of fear for his life, Allen offered a big black man a blowjob because Allen thought that then the big black man wouldn’t hurt him.
Well, gosh, any self-respecting white person would have done the same thing. Right? In fact, for all those white folks nervous about going to the Fox Theatre or Comerica Park, have no fear. Just get yourselves some kneepads. Thanks, Bob!
Yeah, right. The fact is, Allen wanted to blow a dude – and a big stocky black dude at that – and got caught red handed. But, instead of copping to it and going into rehab or an intensive ex-gay therapy course like his other closeted GOP buddies, he’s trying to cover his ass. Keep in mind, his “excuse” plays right into racist stereotypes that not only are all black men thugs, they’re also sex-crazed maniacs.
In other words, Allen, a publicly elected official, would rather the public see him as a racist than as a homo.
Oh, and by the way, Allen has no intention of resigning. He hasn’t, in his mind, done anything wrong.

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