Creep of the Week: Mike Huckabee

Congratulations, Mike Huckabee!
No, not for that whole Iowa Caucus thing. For being the first Creep of 2008! The Year of the Rat is upon us and I can hardly think of a better man to represent! Holla!
Just in case it was ambiguous where the Huckster stands on the issue of queers, Huckabee rang out the Old Year in style on Meet the Press with Tim Russert on December 30.
In 1998 Former Arkansas governor Huckabee published a book called Kids Who Kill in response to the Jonesboro, Arkansas school shootings. In it he wrote, "It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations — from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia."
So Russert, quoting from the book, asks him, "Why would you link homosexuality with sadomasochism, pedophilia, and necrophilia?"
Huckabee's response? "Well, what I was pointing out is all of these are deviations from what has been the traditional concept of sexual behavior and men and women having children, raising those children in the context of a traditional marriage and family. And, again, taken out of the larger context of that book, speaking about how so many of our social institutions have been broken down."
Oh, is that all? As Dan Savage wrote in a Dec. 18 blog post, "Homosexuality, pedophilia, sadomasochism, and necrophilia… hmm. One of these things doesn't belong on a list of 'publicly endorsed' aberrations. Can you guess which? That would be homosexuality–because, as everyone knows, pedophiles, sadomasochists, and necrophiliacs can legally marry in every state, so long as they're straight."
Thankfully Russert pushes the issue (though not the extent of Savage. Alas). "But do you think homosexuality is equivalent to pedophilia … or sadomasochism?"
Well "of course not" Huckabee says.
Russert isn't buying it. "This is what you did say about homosexuality: 'I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle.' That's millions of Americans," Russert helpfully points out.
In order to try to cover his ass, Huckabee plays the "hate the sinner love the sin" card. …Oh, wait. I've got that backwards (but then, so do many Republicans). It's "Love the sinner, hate the sin." My bad.
"Tim, understand, when a Christian speaks of sin, a Christian says all of us are sinners. I'm a sinner, everybody's a sinner," says Huckabee (cue the violins). "What one's sin is, means it's missing the mark. It's missing the bull's eye, the perfect point. I miss it every day; we all do."
Then Russert drops the "do you believe gays are born that way or choose to be that way" question.
"I don't know," Hucky says. "But one thing I know, that the behavior one practices is a choice." Regardless of what Huckabee calls "certain tendencies."
In other words, if homos would just choose to be straight like "success" stories Ted Haggard and Larry Craig, "we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years."
(Special thanks to Trent Lott for coming out of retirement to help me write the end of this column.)