Grab the Chloroform Because Marjorie Tayor Greene Is Woke!

Published: November 18, 2025 | Last Updated: November 18, 2025

A few years ago I was in the home of two lovely gay men for a campaign event. Their home was gorgeous with lots of art. While I was looking at a cabinet of different curios, I saw a badge that read, “Secret Jewish Space Lasers Corps” and had a Star of David image made of what looked like lasers.

“This is amazing,” I said to one of the hosts, who was Jewish, pointing at the badge. He laughed and said that his husband had gotten that for him “because of crazy things said by you know who.”

Oh, I definitely did know who: U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Georgia).

Back in 2018, Greene, a major Trump supporter, blamed the California wildfires on “Jewish space lasers.”

Well, kind of.

“Although Greene has never publicly used the exact phrase Jewish space lasers,’ the controversy originated with a since-deleted 2018 Facebook post from the Georgia Republican that did reference Jewish people and lasers from space,” reports Newsweek. “The post touted an antisemitic conspiracy theory that suggested the Rothschilds, a wealthy Jewish banking family who often feature in antisemitic conspiracies, were profiting off of California wildfires supposedly caused by ‘lasers or blue beams of light’ from space.”

Green’s antisemitic tirade was appropriately shortened to “Jewish space lasers” and cemented her reputation as a member of the not particularly intelligent far-right fringe in Congress, especially when taken together with the many wild ass things she’s said during her time in Congress.

“Greene has repeatedly drawn national attention for promoting conspiracy theories, including claims about 9/11 [and] mass shootings,” reports Fox5. “Her statements have included racist, Islamophobic and anti-LGBTQ remarks, as well as inflammatory comparisons between COVID-19 policies and the Holocaust.”

There were some other things, too. Like the time she believed a conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton murdering children in satanic rituals or when she claimed that 9/11 was an inside job or when she mocked a fellow congressperson’s transgender child.

So, yeah. That’s all very, um, problematic.

Or, I should say, WAS problematic. No more! Because Greene is woke now. Haven’t you heard?

Trump and Greene have had a falling out as of late. It started regarding Trump’s support for Israel. According to Newsweek, Greene was “the first elected Republican official to call its actions in the Gaza Strip a genocide.”

Greene got some props for this declaration, but it’s important to remember that she didn’t call out Israel because she cares about Palestinians. She called out Israel because she doesn’t like Jews.

But it seems that the Epstein files were the breaking point. Greene has been a vocal supporter of releasing the files, convinced that it would expose “the cabal of rich and powerful elites that enabled this.”

Greene was one of a small number of Republicans who signed onto a petition to release the Epstein files and Trump responded by freaking the fuck out. Like a totally normal innocent guy does.

“Wacky Marjorie ‘Traitor’ Brown (Remember, Greene turns to Brown where there is ROT involved!) is working overtime to try and portray herself as a victim when, in actuality, she is the cause of all of her own problems,” Trump wrote in a tortured Truth Social post.

Trump also called her “a ranting Lunatic” and a “Traitor to our Country!” (and, yes, he capitalized these words because of course he did).

But you have to understand, Greene didn’t support the release of the Epstein files because she thought it would get Trump in trouble. In fact, she’s still defending Trump, saying he wasn’t involved in sexually assaulting children.

According to Newsweek, Greene said she “never thought that fighting to release the Epstein files, defending women who were victims of rape, and fighting to expose the web of rich powerful elites would have caused this, but here we are.”

Here we are, indeed.

And now that Trump has disavowed Greene, there are Democrats who are like, “Hey, there’s room for you in our big tent!”

As if Greene is suddenly no longer anti-LGBTQ+, racist, or antisemitic just because Trump called her a traitor.

Keep in mind, this is a much more enthusiastic welcome than Democrats have given New York Mayor Elect Zohran Mamdani. You know, the guy who ran on the issues Democrats supposedly give a shit about like making housing and groceries affordable. People came out in droves to vote for him.

But Democrats would rather woo far-right caricatures like Greene than win elections.

Meanwhile, we’re all still living in a fascist hellscape. One that Greene gleefully helped to usher in.

Let’s be clear: Greene is not on our side no matter what names Trump calls her. And the Democrats trying their damndest to pull the party to the right? They’re not on our side, either.