Pop quiz. Which sounds the most like you?
A. A vegan who eats bacon.
B. An adulterous politician who votes against gay marriage.
C. The person who believes in the death penalty for murderers – and for homosexuals.
If you answered C, you're probably Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Mesa, Arizona. You're also, well, crazy. And not, "Oh, he once ate an entire pizza then danced around in his boxers before puking and passing out" kind of crazy. More like, "Oh, he thinks homosexuals should be executed because God says so" kind of crazy.
Granted, Fred Phelps has had the market cornered on this kind of crazy. He's hard to compete with. With all the press he gets whenever he trots out his day-glo "God Hates Fags" signs he's practically a celebrity.
But if Phelps is the Wal-Mart of fag-haters, consider Anderson a mom-and-pop convenience store. Sure, he doesn't reach as many people, but he carries a lot of the same stuff. And people are buying it.
In a recent sermon to his congregation, Anderson called for the death of homosexuals.
"The same God who instituted the death penalty for murderers is the same God who instituted the death penalty for rapists and for homosexuals – sodomites, queers!" Anderson rants.
And why should homos be killed? "Because the sodomites are infectious, that's why," he says. "Here's a biology lesson: they're not reproducers, they're recruiters!"
Now, I know folks like Anderson hate science, but I doubt even the staunchest of Creationists would call that a "biology lesson." As for the old "recruiters" line, anyone who has ever spent time with gay people knows it's a load of bull. But Anderson believes, quite fervently, about the power of gays to get folks to play for the pink team.
"And you know who they're after? Your children," Anderson spews. "You drop them off at some daycare, you drop them off at some school somewhere, you don't know where they're at. I'll tell you where they're at: they're being recruited by the sodomites. They're being molested by the sodomites. I can tell you so many stories about people that I know being molested and recruited by the sodomites."
Really? Can you now? Tell us so many stories? Let me guess: These "stories" are written down in your dream journal and hidden under your mattress.
According to Anderson, when gays aren't busy raping children to turn them gay, gays are worshiping at the altar of Barney Frank who, it turns out, is the person actually running this country. It's Frank, he says, who wrote the bailout bill. It's Frank who is turning this country Socialist and taking over corporations. Obama's administration is just a puppet government for Frank's Fag Regime, which is hell bent on turning the U.S. into One Fag Nation Under One Fag God (I'm paraphrasing, but Anderson's actual words are far less civil).
"You want to know why sodomites are recruiting?" Anderson asks. "Because they have no natural predators."
He's right. Don't get me wrong – I'd definitely put him in the predator category. But I'd hardly call his lunatic ranting and raving against gay people "natural."
