Creep of the Week: U.S. Department of Defense

Good news for ex-cons! Is a little thing like a burglary or vehicular manslaughter charge getting in the way of your career? Well, fear not. The United States Military welcomes you with open arms. Unless, of course, you're gay.
No, gay simply will not do. Real soldiers don't want some fag whistling Judy Garland tunes on the way into battle while the rest of the battalion is trying to get psyched up by blasting Metallica's "Seek & Destroy."
Besides, everyone knows the only reason gays join the military is to check out guys in the showers. I mean, where else are they supposed to do that? The Y?
Rest assured, the military hasn't started accepting gays. In fact, according to http://www.365Gay.com, the military gives the boot to two gays a day under the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy (under which, an awful lot of asking and telling seems to go on).
The military has, however, lowered its standards in other ways.
According to an April 22 article in The Guardian, "The US army doubled its use of 'moral waivers' for enlisted soldiers last year to cope with the demands of the Iraq war, allowing sex offenders, people convicted of making terrorist threats, and child abusers into the military."
A new report by the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee revealed that the number of felons admitted into the Army was 249 in 2006. In 2007 that number grew to 511. Felons in the Marines grew from 208 to 350.
"The felons accepted into the army and marines included 87 soldiers convicted of assault or maiming, 130 convicted of non-cannabis-related drug offences, seven convicted of making terrorist threats, and two convicted of indecent behavior with a child," The Guardian reports. "Waivers were also granted to 500 burglars and thieves, 19 arsonists and nine sex offenders."
That's right. Phone in a bomb threat to your local mosque? Army material. Punch a five-year-old in the face? The Marines have a spot for you. Kiss another guy on the mouth? Get the fuck out, homo. What kind of place do you think this is?
Thankfully the Army and Marines don't allow folks in who have more than one felony conviction. That's where the Navy and Air Force come in. They admit repeat offenders, according to The Guardian. Apparently it's okay to give these guys guns and an order to protect America so long as they aren't doing it on land.
"Concerns have been raised that the significant increase in the recruitment of persons with criminal records is a result of the strain put on the military by the Iraq war and may be undermining military readiness," House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Henry Waxman said.
Granted, repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell won't solve this problem, but the policy is getting tougher and tougher for supporters to defend.
According to http://www.365Gay.com, Lawrence J. Korb, who served as Assistant Secretary of Defense under Reagan, called publicly for DADT's repeal last week. "The Army and Marine Corps cannot afford to place unnecessary obstacles in the way of qualified men and women who want to serve," he said.