Oops, They Did It Again: Vance Breaks Stuff, Hegseth Leaks Secrets

I have a heinous head cold at the moment and have felt like utter garbage for days. So I have less patience than I normally do for fuckery. Alas, we live in the age of all-fuckery all the time-ery, so here I am. Despite crippling congestion and a steady diet of cold medicine, there’s no rest where creeps are concerned. So, in the words of Prince, who died in 2016 on the very day I am writing this (April 21), “I was dreaming when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast.”
Let’s start with Vice President JD Vance who in one week killed the Pope and broke the college football national championship trophy in front of the entire Ohio State football team, not to mention the entire world. A well-earned bad week for a bad guy. They say bad things come in threes, so hopefully things will get worse for him.
Moving on to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. Say what you want about the man, but he’s definitely very bad at his job. This is, of course, not a surprise as being woefully unqualified and having a complete and total disregard of the law is a requirement to get tapped to be a member of the Trump Administration.
You may remember that Hegseth got in a bit of trouble after it was revealed in March that a reporter was accidentally included on a Signal group chat about classified war stuff. It’s what those in the defense biz call an oopsie-daisy. I mean, who among us hasn’t made that mistake? I once started a chat with my entire work team about pitching in to get our boss a nice Christmas present. And guess who I included on the chat? The boss! Whoops. But, hey, everyone is entitled to make a mistake. I am sure that Hegseth learned his lesson and…
Oh, wait. I’ve just learned that Hegseth did this more than once. The latest revelation is that he included his wife, brother and lawyer, though not by accident. According to NPR, Hegseth used the Signal messaging app on his personal smartphone, detailing minute-by-minute classified information about airstrikes on Houthi targets in Yemen.
Wow, I was totally willing to give Hegseth, who was tapped to lead the world’s most powerful military because Trump liked his Fox News hosting skillz, the benefit of the doubt. Now I’m not so sure!
Hegseth, who has spent his time on the job dismantling anything having to do with DEI (which, and I cannot stress this enough, stands for “diversity, equity, and inclusion” — all good things) and rooting out transgender service members, did not receive any Democratic votes and, in fact, was only confirmed via a tie-breaking vote by VP Vance after three Republicans joined Democrats in opposing him.
This is notable, because some Democrats have voted in favor of a number of Trump’s completely unqualified and morally reprehensible nominees, meaning Hegseth was particularly terrible. I mean, besides being woefully unqualified, there were a lot of, um, concerns about Hegseth. Maybe it was the allegations of sexual assault and spousal abuse. Maybe it was his questionable tattoos. Maybe it was his alcoholism.
Oh, speaking of alcoholism, I’d like to bring your attention to a little exchange between the Democratic National Committee and Hegseth on X.
In response to the latest Signal oopsie, the DNC posted that Hegseth “needs to go.”
Hegseth responded with, “Your agenda is illegals, trans & DEI — all of which are no longer allowed [at the Department of Defense].”
The DNC replied “Pete’s POV” along with an image of a blurry iPhone screen. Get it? Because Hegseth is a drunk?
Now, look, Hegseth is not deserving of any kind of sympathy, but I don’t think addiction is anything to joke about. It further stigmatizes an illness that we already do a terrible job of treating in this country.
I wish the DNC would have replied with something like, “If you mean that as a party, Democrats believe the demonization of undocumented people for political gain is immoral, that transgender people are human beings and that diversity, equity and inclusion are things that make this country a better place for everyone, then, yes, Hegseth. You got us.”
Only after such a response would the blurry iPhone joke be funny.
Alas, that is not the Democratic Party of today. I’d love to see that change. Please, by all means, DNC, stand up for the people the Republicans are not only marginalizing, but are sending to concentration camps.
Whether Hegseth is really being fired or what is unknown at the time of this writing. But a big tell will be if VP Vance meets with Hegseth soon in any public capacity. Fingers crossed.