Man sleeps with twins – on accident!
Q: I’m just not sure what to do next, so that’s why I’m writing to you, Jody. My friends say that I’m nuts. Here’s my story: I so fell for this handsome, California blond, blue-eyed, well-built hunk of a man, “Ryan.” I couldn’t believe it when I found out that there was another Ryan, an identical twin, “Bryan.” (I have to say that I sure had fantasies of an identical twin threesome.) Anyway, I had dated Ryan several times. We had sex on our second date at 2 a.m. in the dark with candles in his apartment. It was wonderful sex; great breakfast in the morning. We were so compatible. I went home feeling like my feet never touched the sidewalk. I had met my hero! My love! My life mate! For the next week, Ryan and I talked on the phone during work, during lunch, during going home from work. Ryan told me that he had a crazy weekend coming up. He had previously planned to visit his parents on Saturday — his mother needed him to help her, and on Sunday he had to go to his sister’s birthday party. So, he told me that maybe I could come over to his house around midnight on Saturday; he’d be home from his mother’s by then. He promised me a very good night. Well, how could I refuse that offer! I said that maybe we could go and have breakfast before he had to go to his sister’s birthday party. Ryan told me that I would have to go home before that because he needed his sleep and if I were around, he wouldn’t get any sleep. (He needed to travel 300 miles the next day in order to get to his sister’s place.) I have to admit that I felt very flattered by that and agreed to the late night date. So, according to our plans, I showed up at his place on Saturday night, at midnight. The door was ajar so when I knocked on it, it just opened. I walked in and saw no one. I called out Ryan’s name and heard a very sexy response from him coming from his bedroom. I was getting hot and started taking off my clothes as I got to the bedroom. There, I could see Ryan lying there under candle light. Let’s just say that it was an incredible night. Well, I didn’t make it home that night. We both were exhausted from our lovemaking and fell asleep. In the morning, I kept thinking something was wrong, but couldn’t — for a long time — figure it out. And Ryan didn’t seem all that in a hurry to get on the road. Then, I noticed that Ryan had a birthmark on his neck. I had never seen that before. He also had his hair parted on the opposite side from what I had remembered. All of a sudden I realized that Ryan wasn’t Ryan; this guy was Bryan! I lost it when I confronted the guy that I slept with, telling him that he wasn’t Ryan and that I had figured out that he was Bryan. Bryan admitted it and thought it was very funny how Ryan and he had set me up. I didn’t think it was humorous. Not only that, I felt so violated. I got so nasty. (I can get that way when I’m really upset.) I said things that I shouldn’t have about Ryan and Bryan. Really, I can be a real bitch when I get so angry. After all my hatefulness, I left slamming the door behind me. I told Bryan to tell Ryan that I never wanted to see him again. That was a week ago. I haven’t heard from Ryan since. I’m feeling so bad about what I said about Ryan to Bryan. I’m sure he told him. I know that Ryan was wrong to do that to me, but I’m sure he is sorry for it. I am so in love with Ryan and I want him back. What should I do now to get him back? Do you think I should send him some “I’m-sorry-for-being-a-bitch” balloons? I know he loves them.
A: You are in lust; it’s way too early to be in love. And you seem to lack any self-respect. Otherwise, why would you want someone who has so little respect for you that he would set you up like that? It is one thing for twins playing such jokes with their teachers, parents and friends, and quite another to set up what they did to you. It was a cruel joke. There is really no more to say about that, other than: Is this really the kind of person that you want to be with? This should be a huge deal breaker.
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(Jody Valley spent 12 years as a clinical social worker. She worked with the LGBT community both as a counselor and a workshop leader in the areas of coming out, self-esteem and relationship issues. The “Dear Jody” column appears weekly. Letters may be edited.)